E3 2009 - Lets Get Physical!

The Electronic Entertainment Expo is always about more than than just announcing a re-release of last years popular game with the number 2 (sometimes 3) attached. At this years E3 representatives from Microsoft, Nintendo and Sony all announced plenty of new hardware to excite gamers, some announcements more amazing than others.

Possibly the most intriguing hardware announcement from all three companies was Project Natal from Microsoft. Using nothing but this new camera, players would be able to interact with their games using nothing but their own body. While this sounds just like something that has been around for a long time now, there was more to show than flailing arms. A video demo of Milo showed people being able to use vocal tones and words to interact with virtual images on screen. Milo himself is able to see through the Natal camera and compliment what you are wearing and even gets you to help him with various tasks. What makes the latter more amazing is its execution. In one scenario, the player draws an image on a normal piece of paper and brings the page closer to the camera, as if to hand it to Milo. Hopefully some Japanese Date Sim developers take notice and put this technology to good use.

Nintendo has spent plenty of time showing off its Wii MotionPlus accessory, which promises to allow the Wii controller to achieve full 1:1 motion controls. The accessory is available starting July for $29.95 or bundled with Wii Sports Resort and other selected games. The newer, less exciting reveal at E3 was the Wii Vitality Sensor – a device used to track a players pulse and temperature. No new games were revealed showing how this could be applied, but knowing the Big N, it will sell faster than free food to the homeless.

Sony, not wanting to be left out of the scene, jumped in with a 'me too' announcement for a motion controller. Unlike the other big boys, this concept appeared far from completion – not even having a name or final design plan to show off. What was shown was a nice combination of the other two companies work, using the existing Playstation Eye and new two-part controller, players had full 1:1 control in the virtual environment. On a more portable note, the Playstation Portable is getting a major overhaul with the PSP Go! A redesign doing away with the standard UMD drive for games, replacing it with 16GB of internal memory for gamers to keep their games purchased from the online Playstation Store. Despite this not being motion controlled, the message is getting across – you gamers need to get off the couch to play your games!

But it is going to be hard to draw people away from their dualshocks with all the less casual games revealed this year. New titles such as Metal Gear Solid: Rising, Final Fantasy XIV, Metroid: Other M and so on will continue to drain life out of the hardcore gaming masses. Meanwhile people looking for something more original can look forward to Heavy Rain, Alan Wake and Scribblenauts. Look forward to more information on these games when later in the year, and continue the tradition of the couch potato gamer.

Just when I finally KICKED the habit!

Seriously, I was pretty much going to snuff out the idea of Pokemon Platinum since it has done little to win me over from the last game (which I prematurely ended after growing bored trying to train my dream team) But announcing remakes of Gold/Silver is a guaranteed way to put me back in the waiting line to give Nintendo my money.

I still consider Gold/Silver/Crystal to be the pinacle of the series. It literally built on everything that Red/Blue/Yellow had, and did so without losing any charm that the series had. While the series never really focused on this idea, there was a continuation of the R/B/Y storyline with characters moving on after their brick gameboy adventures. And most importantly, it still had MOTHERFUCKING TEAM ROCKET! And so, while I doubt uppity Japanese developers will pay attention to the ramblings of a madman, here is what I want to see happen with these new games

DITCH EVERYTHING POST-251!

It's not a new generation pokemon game without new critters to enslave, and to me the G/S/C generation of pokemon were the best designed. They still had a feeling of originality while feeling in place with the original 151 designs. Since then the new pokemon have gotten more and more bizzare designs to distract the fanboys that they have been playing the same game for 10 years. In short: The new pokemon suck and should not be seen anywhere in the Johto or Kanto regions. Even if it means the Starly family is nowhere to be seen.

SPEED THE WHOLE FUCKING THING UP!

A fairly new problem for me. When I started Poke Diamond I found the inclusion of 3D sprites to have really 'wiped off 5' even when holding down the run button. Sure the GB games were also slow, but 2D sprites still got along faster than anything the beret-wearing snail could do. In fact, now I get that whole beret thing! The DS male trainer is a French snail! And yea, who likes the French anyway? Give the guy a can of Red Bull to speed him up.

MAKE IT POSSIBLE TO GET THE REMAINING LEGENDARIES!

Well, maybe not the new legendaries, since that would conflict with request #1. But having to fill Pokemon Ranch with 1000 pokemon to obtain a Mew is fucking insane and whoever thought this up should be shot, stabbed and left to rot on Haley's ranch. In fact, NO MORE buying spin-off games to obtain a single legendary pokemon! So make it possible to get all 5 birds, all 3 dogs, those 2 Mewthings and a fucking Celebi! If those GBA-DS era legendaries MUST be featured, throw in items to make them accessible in the Diamond/Pearl/Platinum so they don't dirty up my Johto journey.

Of course Nintendo could do none of this and fill this remake with nothing but DSi minigames and Bidoof's and I would still buy it like the good whipping boy I am. But one can't help but dream, can they?

I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T!

To start this off, I should clarify that I am NOT DRUNK! I've had this thought in the back of my head for a while now that I haven't been able to piece together until now. So if there are holes in my insane conspiracy theories, blame it on too much Metal Gear Solid 4 and continue to ignore me and my genius.

Since its release, everyone (myself included) has praised Killer 7 as an example of the video game being more art than entertainment. But just what about it makes it a demonstration of art? Does a videogame need to use obvious cel shading to be considered artistic in merit? Of course not! But then what makes Killer 7 something more than the usual Capcom 'lets appease the Western market with b-grade plots and 80s action movie gore'

And that's when it hit me

I recalled early mentions of a later Goichi Suda directed game, No More Heroes, satiring the modern idea of open world sandbox game. While the game itself did little to captivate on the open world concept compared to the likes of Grand Theft Auto or even Assassins Creed, its lack of substance to the city of Santa Destroy achieved Suda51's goal to satire the likes of GTA with his own unique flare. Examples of satire are found in films, with many minds going straight to the likes of Monty Python team, or Mel Brooks films. Satire must be the key, even if not immediately appreciated by the critics. But in 10 years time, gamers will recall that cult hit that took the piss out of every single action game from the 2000s, even if they don't remember the name (for those untrained in the likes of game knowledge, I refer to the recently released Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazzard)

Now we rewind back to 2005 and Killer 7. Is the artistic merit hidden in elements of satire? I would argue yes! And to further back up my argument, I already have the perfect whipping child for Suda's cult creation. My prime suspect is none other than Resident Evil. Without calling me crazy, there is more to this connection than RE creator Shinji Mikami being a producer on this game.

- Easiest one first, Killer 7 is heavy on the fetch quests and bizzare puzzles. When not deciding which magic ring to use on what area, you were cracking codes and revealing secret messages to add more questions to the plot than answers. RE is probably a bit more focused on its insane puzzles, but what was more a frustration in 1996 becomes a weird headscratcher in 2005.

- No camera control. This one took me a while to place, but it perfectly fits into a RE themed satire. Early titles in the Resident Evil series had many reasons to stick to static camera angles. Lack of control raised tension for the player. The game could use overly pretty pre-rendered images to do more visually than the original Playstation could achieve. But most importantly, the camera angles were cool because they gave you the best cinematic viewpoint. Without bringing back the human-tank controls, Killer 7 has some fantastic cinematic views.

- The enemies like hide and seek. Going back to the static camera of Resident Evil, the player was never sure about what, if anything, was waiting for them around the corner. This kind of peekaboo tactic is RE's main source of horror, but without talking about scares, it just means that the zombies were rarely standing out in the open. The heaven smiles of Killer 7 may not be hiding around the corner wall, but they are still hidden to the naked eye. They must be 'scanned' to reveal their location before the player is attacked.

So, am I crazy? Or have I discovered the source of Killer 7's art cred?

What the fuck Kotaku!?!?!?!

Seriously Kotaku, what the hell!? How come I had to find about about a DS Haruhi game, and Wii Hare Hare dancing through other websites? Standard Kotaku policy dictates regular posts regarding all things Haruhi related, followed by a embedd display of Hare Hare Yukai.

Guess it's time to pick up Bashcrafts slack

Peekabo, 'i' See You

Nintendo are no strangers to hardware updates, so the Nintendo DSi should come as no surprise to handheld devotees. The latest revision to the Nintendo DS hardware feature two (count em, TWO!) built in cameras, music playback through SD cards, built in web browser, improved speakers and larger screens. For a company that traditionally is conservative with multimedia features, Nintendo seem to have pulled out all the stops this time. But is this the upgrade all should be running to get?

To start things off on the new checklist, one of the more interesting additions is the DSiWare store.  Totally not trying to take a page from the iPhones App Store, DSiWare allows users to make their DSi unique with various games and features. Already available in Japan are Nintendo themed calculators, virtual sketchbooks, and themed editions of the popular Brain Training series. Prices range from free downloads, up to 800 Nintendo Points ($12)

Along with downloadable software, the DSi has a few multimedia features to show off. Music playback, multiple cameras and image support are being touted as reasons to upgrade. However, many users will find compatibility with existing images and music to be poor at best. No MP3 compatibility, limited image formats, and the cameras are lower quality than mobile phones two generations ago. In short, if you want a multimedia device, stick with your Playstation Portable/iPhone/iRiver/iEtcetera.

Where entertainment upgrades may be a mixed bag in terms of upgrades, everyone should be happy with the presentation of the DSi. Gone is the fingerprint-absorbing gloss finish, replaced with an easier to clean matte finish on the outside of the system. Gamers will also appreciate the improved audio speakers and expanded screen sizes. Time will tell if the DSi can stand the test of day to day wear, but if people were careful with their Lites then the DSi should live through anything.

But the question remains – should owners of the original DS and DS Lite consider upgrading to the DSi? The answer: yes and no. While better external designs and a method of digital distribution may win over the easily converted, the limited multimedia and higher price point will make others second guess themselves. At $299.95, the DSi may not be everyone's idea of a easy buy. For others without a DS (are you guys still out there?) this looks to be the definitive version of this incredibly popular device. i hope to see you all enjoying your DSi systems at home, on the train, in between classes at tafe, and anywhere else you want.

All aboard the hype train, choo choo choo!

A cold Wednesday night. I'm still trying to recover from previous night of alcohols but I must belong to the masses that call themselves fanboy- opps, I mean gamers.
 
Anyways jokes aside, the Nintendrones were there in the masses. Kinda strange considering how much these same people condemn the DSi and its Nintendo-style of features on the interwebs. But when Nintendo calls, peoples come - it just happened that the Womens Weekly and Cosmopolitan readers were washing their hair on the night.

Already stocking DSi accessories

While the event was't quite starting up until 10pm, people were already there in preperation for the big event and for last minute pre orders of the system.  In order to entice any on the ropes people or parents of 11 years olds who had already pre ordered their own system, EB were throwing in free copies of the 'Training' games with every DSi purchased that night. And what better way to push a cynical game writer over the edge than making the price $150 when you pawn off your DS Lite. I guess I could cave in tonight.

One last photo for memories (or lulz)

As I stood in line, removing my copy of GTA: Chinatown Wars from my almighty DS Lite, I decided I would have to live without the possibility of playing my GBA games (oh yea, and Jessie's Girl on Guitar Hero On Tour). When it came my turn to be served I announced that they had won and I was trading in my Lite. Then came the turning point. "Do you have the charger with you?" As this was an impulse moment of course I didn't have any stinkin charger with me. Oh sure I could have spent $15 on a charger to trade in with the Lite, but by that point I was looking for any excuse to back out. Dodged a $150 matte black bullet with that wall in front of me. Oh wait, its time to start up that whole event thing

There is, but one ring, to rule them all!

The velvet rope was removed. It was time for the nintendrones to march up the stairs and experience the Nintendo...experience. A bunch of Nintendo Wii systems are set up for the nights Mario Power Tennis tournament (aka. an easy way for a person to score a second DSi in the night). That said, yours truely was sure to get his rear end handed to him in the first round, by someone he knew from high school to make things worse! On the bright side, despite not serving V/Red Bull/Mother/Poison as the choice of beverage, Nintendo knows what its audience digests.

To quote someone from the night "they're doing well - they have us eating out of dog bowls"

Long story short, no one told Nintendo that daylight savings was a week late and this 'midnight' launch was more of an 11pm launch. Not as charming I know, but whatever gets me home before I miss the last tram. I tried my luck at haggling the EB employees for a DSi without that bullocks trade in, but the best I could get em down to was $299.95 which was too much for me so I moved on and proceeded to snap pictures of the lucky people who could afford the rrp and still sleep at night. Enough talking now, time for pictures acompanied by my dry, unfunny wit.

The lucky first two showing off their DSi's - Don't ya just wish you were them? Yea, me neither.

Too busy enjoying that DSi to notice the free ice cream being handed to her right now.

Yea he has a DSi, so what? Smiling is for the weak after all!

But thats not a...oh I get it! Even more ironic - he wasn't playing a PSP game (oh snap!)

At least this guy has a DSi, and he seems happy about it too

Two nerds and only one DSi? Hope they learn to share

You gotta admire the nerds that take the time to inspect their goods on the spot. They just DO NOT trust Nintendo to give them that second styli

The closest I will get to a DSi for quite some time (at least a DSi without security restrains trapping it on the EB tables)

At the end the boxes were empty and the dog bowls were nothing but holes with bits of sugar sitting on the bottom. And that is pretty much it. Nothing that wouldn't have been covered by others by now since I am a couple days late in reportings. All thats left to do is say 'Cheers' and go get my 8 hours.

Cheers

PS.

Outdated!

Holy crap! This is the real deal

Yup, after showing off the greatest trailer of all time no one could consume the sheer awesomeness of the Duke. In response to this, everyone stuck their heads in the sand and pretended that this would join the ranks of Duke Nukem Forever.

But I knew better

And as of today, I know for a fact that the handheld Duke Nukem trilogy is the real deal. Seems to be VERY early on, and I still can't help but doubt the 09' release of this game. Not because the devs will fuck up and not finish in time, but because sudden release delays fits right into Duke lore alongside alien pigs and strippers by this point. Although first they need to release a section of a low-res screenshot to prove the games existance to the public. Til then while everyone has their heads in the sand, I will be proceeding to walk around picking pockets until I have enough to pick up the trilogy on both systems.

Cheers