Just when I finally KICKED the habit!

Seriously, I was pretty much going to snuff out the idea of Pokemon Platinum since it has done little to win me over from the last game (which I prematurely ended after growing bored trying to train my dream team) But announcing remakes of Gold/Silver is a guaranteed way to put me back in the waiting line to give Nintendo my money.

I still consider Gold/Silver/Crystal to be the pinacle of the series. It literally built on everything that Red/Blue/Yellow had, and did so without losing any charm that the series had. While the series never really focused on this idea, there was a continuation of the R/B/Y storyline with characters moving on after their brick gameboy adventures. And most importantly, it still had MOTHERFUCKING TEAM ROCKET! And so, while I doubt uppity Japanese developers will pay attention to the ramblings of a madman, here is what I want to see happen with these new games

DITCH EVERYTHING POST-251!

It's not a new generation pokemon game without new critters to enslave, and to me the G/S/C generation of pokemon were the best designed. They still had a feeling of originality while feeling in place with the original 151 designs. Since then the new pokemon have gotten more and more bizzare designs to distract the fanboys that they have been playing the same game for 10 years. In short: The new pokemon suck and should not be seen anywhere in the Johto or Kanto regions. Even if it means the Starly family is nowhere to be seen.

SPEED THE WHOLE FUCKING THING UP!

A fairly new problem for me. When I started Poke Diamond I found the inclusion of 3D sprites to have really 'wiped off 5' even when holding down the run button. Sure the GB games were also slow, but 2D sprites still got along faster than anything the beret-wearing snail could do. In fact, now I get that whole beret thing! The DS male trainer is a French snail! And yea, who likes the French anyway? Give the guy a can of Red Bull to speed him up.

MAKE IT POSSIBLE TO GET THE REMAINING LEGENDARIES!

Well, maybe not the new legendaries, since that would conflict with request #1. But having to fill Pokemon Ranch with 1000 pokemon to obtain a Mew is fucking insane and whoever thought this up should be shot, stabbed and left to rot on Haley's ranch. In fact, NO MORE buying spin-off games to obtain a single legendary pokemon! So make it possible to get all 5 birds, all 3 dogs, those 2 Mewthings and a fucking Celebi! If those GBA-DS era legendaries MUST be featured, throw in items to make them accessible in the Diamond/Pearl/Platinum so they don't dirty up my Johto journey.

Of course Nintendo could do none of this and fill this remake with nothing but DSi minigames and Bidoof's and I would still buy it like the good whipping boy I am. But one can't help but dream, can they?

What the fuck Kotaku!?!?!?!

Seriously Kotaku, what the hell!? How come I had to find about about a DS Haruhi game, and Wii Hare Hare dancing through other websites? Standard Kotaku policy dictates regular posts regarding all things Haruhi related, followed by a embedd display of Hare Hare Yukai.

Guess it's time to pick up Bashcrafts slack

Peekabo, 'i' See You

Nintendo are no strangers to hardware updates, so the Nintendo DSi should come as no surprise to handheld devotees. The latest revision to the Nintendo DS hardware feature two (count em, TWO!) built in cameras, music playback through SD cards, built in web browser, improved speakers and larger screens. For a company that traditionally is conservative with multimedia features, Nintendo seem to have pulled out all the stops this time. But is this the upgrade all should be running to get?

To start things off on the new checklist, one of the more interesting additions is the DSiWare store.  Totally not trying to take a page from the iPhones App Store, DSiWare allows users to make their DSi unique with various games and features. Already available in Japan are Nintendo themed calculators, virtual sketchbooks, and themed editions of the popular Brain Training series. Prices range from free downloads, up to 800 Nintendo Points ($12)

Along with downloadable software, the DSi has a few multimedia features to show off. Music playback, multiple cameras and image support are being touted as reasons to upgrade. However, many users will find compatibility with existing images and music to be poor at best. No MP3 compatibility, limited image formats, and the cameras are lower quality than mobile phones two generations ago. In short, if you want a multimedia device, stick with your Playstation Portable/iPhone/iRiver/iEtcetera.

Where entertainment upgrades may be a mixed bag in terms of upgrades, everyone should be happy with the presentation of the DSi. Gone is the fingerprint-absorbing gloss finish, replaced with an easier to clean matte finish on the outside of the system. Gamers will also appreciate the improved audio speakers and expanded screen sizes. Time will tell if the DSi can stand the test of day to day wear, but if people were careful with their Lites then the DSi should live through anything.

But the question remains – should owners of the original DS and DS Lite consider upgrading to the DSi? The answer: yes and no. While better external designs and a method of digital distribution may win over the easily converted, the limited multimedia and higher price point will make others second guess themselves. At $299.95, the DSi may not be everyone's idea of a easy buy. For others without a DS (are you guys still out there?) this looks to be the definitive version of this incredibly popular device. i hope to see you all enjoying your DSi systems at home, on the train, in between classes at tafe, and anywhere else you want.

Holy crap! This is the real deal

Yup, after showing off the greatest trailer of all time no one could consume the sheer awesomeness of the Duke. In response to this, everyone stuck their heads in the sand and pretended that this would join the ranks of Duke Nukem Forever.

But I knew better

And as of today, I know for a fact that the handheld Duke Nukem trilogy is the real deal. Seems to be VERY early on, and I still can't help but doubt the 09' release of this game. Not because the devs will fuck up and not finish in time, but because sudden release delays fits right into Duke lore alongside alien pigs and strippers by this point. Although first they need to release a section of a low-res screenshot to prove the games existance to the public. Til then while everyone has their heads in the sand, I will be proceeding to walk around picking pockets until I have enough to pick up the trilogy on both systems.

Cheers

The Times They Are A-Changin'

Memories of the previous Connection Tours fill my mind with casual groups picking up a Wiimote for the first time with Wii Sports and other simplistic fun games. With the release of Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Nintendo have set up yet another Connection Tour in Australia. In place of the go-active Wii Sports audience, this tour is more catered towards the self-titled ‘hardcore’ gamers.

At opening time, the line of gamers was set with one goal; kick some ass in Super Smash Bros. Brawl! With over 100 entries the Brawl tournament was the main attraction of the day, drawing people to their controller of choice. With four individual Wii systems running copies of Brawl, it was the popular choice for all age groups.

Along with Brawl, the list of games was quite a step up compared to previous tours. With the notable disappearance of Wii Fit and Wii Sports, the floor was cleared for new highlights including Guitar Hero: Aerosmith, Samba De Amigo and Emergency Mayhem. The DS also saw a software roster update, adding to the growing list of Touch Generation games along with Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood and Guitar Hero: On Tour. Here’s a breakdown on my impressions of each new game:

Guitar Hero: Aerosmith – This is my first time using the Wii’s Les Paul controller and I gotta say that I am not a fan of it. Maybe it was these guitars themselves, but the strum bar was flimsy and whammy bar was loose. Outside of controller complaints, this is the same ugly dummed down Guitar Hero 3 people got last year redone with Aerosmith tunes. It won’t win over any new fans, but if you didn’t like the difficulty curve of GH3, Aerosmith may be just right for you

Samba De Amigo – Never played the original game so I have no idea how this compares, but it was a fun game that seems to fit the Wii (or a pair of maracas) perfectly. Only tried a couple songs, but the controls seem to work perfectly so no complaints to be had from me.

Guitar Hero: On Tour – 26 songs isn’t really worth the high price point for Australians, but price aside this is a really well done game. The peripheral is made with small hands in mind, so people with hands bigger than 8 year olds may not want to strap themselves into the device. I don’t know if it’s a good thing that this impressed me more than the Aerosmith game, but it’s a great attempt at bringing the Guitar Hero series to new platforms.

Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood – I wasn’t paying much attention to this game before, but after sampling a bit of the gameplay myself I’m ready to give this game a solid chance upon release. Functional combat mechanics, clean presentation and branching storylines all help to show off that Bioware can make a great game regardless of platform. Still skeptical about the Sonic universe being suitable for a decent story however, and that will probably never change.

Swag was on the light side this year with most quiz prizes consisting of Guitar Hero caps and Pokemon figurines. The top 4 finalists of the Brawl tournament all scored a free copy of the game for their skills, although I question why THEY would need a second copy since they were all of high caliber. All contestants in the tournament also had their photo taken and kept in nametags (although that barely qualifies as swag to most people)

In short, if you were thought this tour would be more of the same as last year then you were wrong. If at any point you try to question this, I would point you to the sea of nerds and otakus hardcore gamers viewing every round of the Super Smash Bros. tournament. The last fight came down to two brothers with a single stock life each, with the younger brother coming out on top thanks to a deadly smash ball and hammer combination.

And what did he get to show off his accomplishments? Along with Mario figurines and a copy of Brawl he received a friggin sweet trophy!

P.S - As much as I loathe Naruto, I still gotta give credit where its due. Props to this brawler for a decent attempt at the world's most annoying ninja.