Monday, August 17, 2009

Nobody Miniviews - Afro Samurai

I can't say I was expecting a samurai-themed video game staring Samuel Jackson to hold back at any point, but like so many game adaptations something feels off the moment I start. Maybe its the overuse of in-game symbols in the loading screens alone – more teddy bears than I need to fill my bed. Or maybe its because even the lowly grunts of the video game world take more effort to bring down than Afro ever needed in the hand drawn world.

Even with the comical slapstick of another Samuel Jackson character (since he needs a minimum of two roles in any movie/game/book ever made) doesn't feel right. Maybe its because instead of my bizarre id, he has had to take up a second job as a checkpoint marker to the end of a level. I know the economy is tough all round, but taking it as far as stylised feudal Japan shows how bad it is.

Well if there aren't enough coins/headbands to go around in tough times, I could always thin out the numbers with my trusty pointy object. But for some reason grunts don't fall into a million pieces on the first swing like they used to. Obscene video game rule # 258 “all sharp weapons shall do motherfucking all when trying to cut artificial life”. Oh, I may have spoken too soon! It seems faceless bad guys can become confetti if you rip off The Matrix and slow the fuck down. Motherfucking Success!

Miniviewed by Steven Janjic
email @ nobodygaming@gmail.com

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Nobody Miniviews - De Blob

It is amazing what developers are allowed to get away with in games that are labeled as 'kid friendly'. Mario is pardoned for mass genocide of a kingdom of turtles, not to mention his highly questionable fixation on shrooms. And here we have a 12 and under version of V For Vendetta. All these 'bad guys' wanted to do was create order and stop all those people distributing child pornography. Is that such as bad thing? Apparently so, because rebelling against authority is quite fun when you are a walking paint brush.

Rolling into town seems simple enough. Those janitors hired by the new regime seem to have done a good job in cleaning up this town, but now it seems kinda....boring. Wonder what they will say if I make a few trees red. Hmm, no one seems to be complaining – maybe a building next, or why not half a dozen buildings? Hey, now someone brought out the funky tunes in acknowledgement of me, and he knows how to play to my groove. Chillax time is a go!

But it seems the man doesn't quite want me chillaxing. For some completely stupid reason, there are time limits and high scores. However, since there are enough bonus time and points scattered around this totalitarian town, kinda seems that taxpayer dollars are going to waste with this scheme. And while I'm bitching about pointless ideas, whoever legislated that all jumping be regulated to swinging around wiimotes should be removed from office faster than Richard Nixon. But there is no time to complain, I seem to have earned a bajillion points and extras just by doing my own thing in town. Someone bring out the margaritas – the party is off the ball n chain!

Miniviewed by Steven Janjic
email @ nobodygaming@gmail.com