Just when I finally KICKED the habit!

Seriously, I was pretty much going to snuff out the idea of Pokemon Platinum since it has done little to win me over from the last game (which I prematurely ended after growing bored trying to train my dream team) But announcing remakes of Gold/Silver is a guaranteed way to put me back in the waiting line to give Nintendo my money.

I still consider Gold/Silver/Crystal to be the pinacle of the series. It literally built on everything that Red/Blue/Yellow had, and did so without losing any charm that the series had. While the series never really focused on this idea, there was a continuation of the R/B/Y storyline with characters moving on after their brick gameboy adventures. And most importantly, it still had MOTHERFUCKING TEAM ROCKET! And so, while I doubt uppity Japanese developers will pay attention to the ramblings of a madman, here is what I want to see happen with these new games

DITCH EVERYTHING POST-251!

It's not a new generation pokemon game without new critters to enslave, and to me the G/S/C generation of pokemon were the best designed. They still had a feeling of originality while feeling in place with the original 151 designs. Since then the new pokemon have gotten more and more bizzare designs to distract the fanboys that they have been playing the same game for 10 years. In short: The new pokemon suck and should not be seen anywhere in the Johto or Kanto regions. Even if it means the Starly family is nowhere to be seen.

SPEED THE WHOLE FUCKING THING UP!

A fairly new problem for me. When I started Poke Diamond I found the inclusion of 3D sprites to have really 'wiped off 5' even when holding down the run button. Sure the GB games were also slow, but 2D sprites still got along faster than anything the beret-wearing snail could do. In fact, now I get that whole beret thing! The DS male trainer is a French snail! And yea, who likes the French anyway? Give the guy a can of Red Bull to speed him up.

MAKE IT POSSIBLE TO GET THE REMAINING LEGENDARIES!

Well, maybe not the new legendaries, since that would conflict with request #1. But having to fill Pokemon Ranch with 1000 pokemon to obtain a Mew is fucking insane and whoever thought this up should be shot, stabbed and left to rot on Haley's ranch. In fact, NO MORE buying spin-off games to obtain a single legendary pokemon! So make it possible to get all 5 birds, all 3 dogs, those 2 Mewthings and a fucking Celebi! If those GBA-DS era legendaries MUST be featured, throw in items to make them accessible in the Diamond/Pearl/Platinum so they don't dirty up my Johto journey.

Of course Nintendo could do none of this and fill this remake with nothing but DSi minigames and Bidoof's and I would still buy it like the good whipping boy I am. But one can't help but dream, can they?