Nobody Gaming

The Playstation Phone - and why it will fail

2010-12-04T13:17:00.003+11:00

This is what is believed to be a prototype of Sony's rumored PlayStation Phone, to be built by Sony Ericsson and powered by Android 2.3. The rumored specs according to the original leak by Engadget list a 1GHz processor, 512MB of RAM and all that general high end smartphone jazz, but what is going to make this Android device unique is Sony offering their own games through a special PS Marketplace. Couple all that with dedicated gaming buttons and a trackpad that looks like it could properly replicate the feel of dual analogue controls and it is everything that the PSP fanboys have asked for. Of course because this is what people asked for means that the PSP Phone is doomed to failure, but for some more developed reasons, read on:

1) The target market is gone

Despite the Hanna Montana edition, the PSP never really had a bigger market than '13-17 males with $$$'. That was 2004, here in 2010 that market already has been assimilated into the smartphone market. For at least a year all of those potential PSP gamers have found new homes on iPhones/iPod Touches, one of the million high end Android phones already out in the market, or even one of the several Windows Phone 7 devices that have made it out this year. And since I've brought up WP7, despite its quality analysts still don't see it being as significant as iOS/Android devices over the next few years.

That result stems from MS taking forever and a day to get it out - now imagine a company like Sony (who has been flailing in mediocrity in the smartphone market with the Xperia lineup) coming up and claiming they have the ultimate gaming phone. Consumers aren't going to lineup. They are too busy playing Angry Birds. Whats that you say? The PSP Phone is Android powered so it too can play Angry Birds? Well that brings me to my next topic

2) Android wont be Sony's salvation in gaming

This PlayStation Phone can play Android games, but so can the other million devices that run the Android OS. Every 6 months the benchmark for Android devices seems to jump, leaving past models struggling to run games. Within a year the PSP Phone will be considered obsolete by techheads and will be left struggling trying to play the latest Android games.You only need to look at Rovio's list of Android phones that wont run Angry Birds to see just how many devices are coming out. Some of those phones are less than a year old! While many are released with intentionally lower specs to cut costs, the point stands that Android is a platform that changes and evolves faster than the handheld gaming market. Sony will have to push out yearly revisions to the hardware just to not fall behind on the Android side of things, and thats not even taking into account how this would affect the 'Sony Marketplace' side of these phones.

Does anyone remember PSP Minis? You know, those tiny games that were originally designed to be downloaded and played in quick bursts at a budget price. All I remember was stripped down versions of iPhone games that were sold at inflated prices (to account for classification costs generally since Sony wouldn't take more than Apple for distribution). Sony blames its high price point for the failure of the PSP Go system, but they need to look at the price of software too. Digital gamers have enough trouble paying full rrp for games on services like Steam, and Sony is trying to charge the same (if not higher in some cases) for digital versions of PSP games. To keep things short, NO ONE is going to buy games at that price on a PSP Phone when Angry Birds is available FOR FREE.

Side note: Yes I am aware that this argument contradicts itself somewhat, but despite Androids fragmentation, there will always be an abundance of cheap/free software to distract consumers from anything Sony would offer - which brings us to

3) Sony Marketplace would be a joke

Mobile publishing have made huge levels of growth in recent years, and everyone involved has benefited greatly. Gameloft gets to churn out 500 knock offs a year, independent success stories like Trainyard get as much attention as any professionally published game, and even Epic Games is stepping onto the iOS market with Infinity Blade, aka 'That mobile phone game with graphics that piss on your Wii'. On the Android market side of things, fragmentation and ease of piracy have slowed it down compared to the App Store, but anyone and everyone has access to the content distributed on the Android Marketplace. Which brings me to my question: Why the fuck would EA/Activision/Ubisoft/any other major publisher distribute a game exclusively to a PlayStation Phone when it could just as easily be distributed to 100 other mobile devices at the same time?

Despite how many handsets would be unable to run such games, even just getting distributed on phones with equal power to the PSP Phone (Desire, Galaxy S, EVO .etc) would increase potential profits dramatically. So now we are left with a Sony store distributing only first/second party titles. That might work for Nintendo, but no matter how enjoyable Ratchet & Clank are, or how fast paced Wipeout is, those brands do not have the pulling power of Mario and Pokemon. Sony needs third party support to make a Sony Marketplace (and a PlayStation Phone) relevant.

This is generally the part where I defend my stance by being a Sony fanboy and owning all the previous systems and a Bravia TV and all that crap, but that wouldn't get me out of the dog house. The truth is while I may not own that fancy pants Bravia set, I do like Sony and wish their gaming and mobile devisions all the best, but a PlayStation Phone is not the answer. They could make a device that gave blowjobs and cooked you a bacon sandwich at the same time, but its too little too late. If they want to continue the PSP legacy their best bet is in a non-cellular device, while still learning a thing or two from what has recently been going on in the Android/iOS markets.

Heroes – Season Four review and series retrospective

2010-09-28T21:41:00.010+10:00

I will admit it; I did not watch Heroes when it originally aired. Back when ‘Genesis’ aired in 2006, I was already being stretched by the long winded mysteries of Lost and the idea of another long serial drama did not excite me regardless of the inclusion of superpowers. I eventually did give the show a chance and fell in love with it. ‘Normal people discovering they had extraordinary powers’ wasn’t a new concept and mainstream audiences had already accepted the live action X-Men movies as a fantastic representation of the subject matter. Heroes took the idea and found a way to make it feel even more grounded in our world; bringing people from different cultures and upbringings together under a common cause. That was season One.

Things never really evolved from there, over the next few seasons the audience dwindled and NBC was forced to pull the plug on Heroes. The fourth season really tried to redeem the show in the eyes of the viewers (going as far as to title the story arc ‘Redemption’) and bring the show back to its first season prime. However a number of issues in the writing and general story direction proved that the show was beyond redemption. The issues that plagued season four were not unique to the season; storylines lost their reins quickly, new characters were rarely introduced and a self-indulgence of series in-jokes kept the show from breaking new ground. With the final season being released on DVD and Blu Ray this month, it felt like the right time to look back at a series that once garnered so much praise, only to collapse under its own weight. So without further adieu, here are my arguments as to why this final season, and the show in general, failed:

Those Pesky Fans: Heroes became a global sensation almost overnight, with a strong following from the internet-browsing, comic-con-frequenting army of geeks. When season two concluded early due to the writer’s strike, fans made their presence known. They hated the slow pace of season two, and Tim Kring acknowledged it and promised a much faster season three. What we got after that was a show that made Lost look like a simple children’s book. Fans responded yet again with even more rage. The writers never stood a chance, they could not please everyone, and the more vocal crowds were far from a true representation of the whole audience.

In an age where feedback from viewership is instantaneous, it can be hard for writers to tell their own story. There are forces from the internet, from the network executives and even from other members of the creative team. Maybe there was no way for the show to evolve without all these opinions influencing it, but one cannot help but wonder just what the show could have accomplished without so many cooks in the kitchen...

Rules Made to be Broken: The first season never really established a set lore for how people acquired their abilities. The book written by Dr. Suresh explained that the powers stemmed from somewhere in the brain, which was why Sylar needed to inspect a person’s brain in order to understand (and replicate) their power. In season three however, the rules were completely scrapped and now abilities were tied to an increase of adrenalin.

This example of not caring about the established rules is not unique. Season two introduced a deus ex machina that could bring people back from the dead. It was farfetched but after a year of laying down the foundation it was believable. Fast forward to season three and every character has forgotten such a feature exists in this world. So when a dead Nathan Petrelli needs to be replaced, they instead use a MIND READER to brainwash Sylar into shape shifting into Nathan. It was a drastic jump that barely worked in the context of the show, and served as little more than a cliff hanger to force NBC to give the show another season. Sometimes science fiction is bogged down by its chronology and lore after decades, such as Star Trek or Stargate. Heroes was already throwing out the rulebook after 3 years, which definitely shows the lack of integrity the writers had to their own lore.

Repetition Repetition: Every season Claire Bennet was hiding her true self from her family while cutting her hand to demonstrate her ability. Every season Mohinder would stick his nose into places where it didn’t belong and get into trouble. Every season Noah Bennet would try to control the lives of everyone around him despite it always failing. Every season – technically, twice in season three – Nathan Petrelli would die. The story beats felt overused by the third season, yet the writers stuck to their guns and continued to drive these once unique plot devices into the ground.

Repetition also came through in the overall plot. The exploding man in New York was a great hook to draw in the audience. Season two introduced a disaster on a much larger scale that killed over 90% of the world’s population – although this idea never fully surfaced due to the writer’s strike cutting the season short. The third season struggled to have its own goal for a while, and even went as far as reusing the exploding man idea all over again. Really there wasn’t enough to distinguish these cataclysmic events from each other, and for a group of people with superpowers there really aren’t many other possible scenarios that would work for the show.

Never Say Die: Reusing those once iconic moments was always easy for Tim Kring and his group of writers – after all, the main cast rarely faced death. In 2006 we saw Isaac Mendez die at the hands of Sylar despite all of Hiro’s efforts to save him. DL and Nikki met tragic ends in second season, but after that it became obvious that the shows head runners were too scared to let go of anymore cast members. Despite dying continuously, Nathan returned every season (how did he ever survive being shot at the end of season 2?) Even the introduction of Tracy in season three was a very weak cop out to keep Ali Larter on the credit roll. Once upon a time, Tim Kring envisioned Heroes with a different cast every season, but after discovering how popular the first season cast was, they became untouchable. If anything, the show became victim to its own popularity.

The worst part about this is the fact that most of the main cast could have very easily died in season four without hurting the story in anyway. Matt Parkman could have died when he was shot, and Sylar could have somehow regained his memories through some other deus ex machina act. Mohinder could have died at the hands of Samuel, with no real change to the story. Hiro could have fought for his honour in the limbo-court room and left the living world with his pride, and the people at the carnival could have just run away faster. But because someone believed this show could receive a fifth season, the characters had to stay alive just so they could repeat their same character growth points for a fifth time.

Useless characters: Most of the main Heroes cast were not envisioned to be sustainable for more than one or two seasons. The build up of HRG’s true name at the end of season one felt rewarding when we finally heard Jack Coleman say to Peter ‘call me Noah’. After that episode the character lost a lot of his mysterious appeal; his name was the final frontier the audience needed to reach. Watching his character fumble around with nothing to do in season four shows just how unsustainable he really was.

Characters like Tracy and Mohinder existed in season four only for the sake of reminded the audience that they were once important roles in earlier stories. Yet they were treated more importantly than many of the new cast, like Jeremy. Remember Jeremy? The teen that could control the flow of life and death? Of course you don’t remember him because the writing staff didn’t care about him and killed him off faster than a Red Shirt on Star Trek. At least poor Jeremy got a closing point to his story, while season two regular Monica was simply forgotten and never mentioned again (it’s okay though, she never got a chance to interact with any of the main cast).

Romantic Issues: Season Two’s love stories weren’t entirely flash hot. Peter and Caitlin proved to be unpopular to viewers. Claire and the West was a little too Clark Kent for some people. And the Hiro/Yaeko/Kensei triangle was too cute for people to swallow. Tim Kring even apologized for the romance driven stories of season two, going as far as saying ''In retrospect, I don't think romance is a natural fit for us.''

But that was not the end of the Heroes love stories. Seasons three and four continued different romance stories, with far worse results. Maya and Mohinder were weaker than anything the series had seen yet. Sylar being in a relationship with Elle took what was once a strong villain and transformed him into an idol for girls to daydream over as if he was a teen idol. And the less said about Noah and Lauren, the better. In short, Tim Kring is a hypocrite and should not be allowed to bring men and women together for the sake of romance ever again.

With so many criticisms to make of the show, it’s hard to believe over 14 million people in the US were watching the show and giving it nothing but praise. The truth is that this show was a cultural phenomenon on the levels of other character driven sci fi shows like Lost and Battlestar Galactica. Honestly, I still love Heroes. I consider season one to be some of the most exciting television to ever be made, with an interesting mythology and some memorable set piece moments (after all, who will ever forget ‘Save the cheerleader, save the world?) If season two had been allowed to continue as it was originally envisioned, we may have seen something even more spectacular.

In the bonus content of the season two DVD, Tim Kring talks about what would have happened if the season had not been cut short at 11 episodes. Without giving away too many details, the creative team had big ideas that would have led to the slow season introduction paying off in a big way. The new characters that were introduced would have had proper time to be intertwined with the established characters and grow. There would have been a cataclysmic event bigger than anything the show ever saw in all of its seasons. If anything, the writer’s strike was a fatal blow that Heroes never recovered from. The long break gave everyone too much time to forget what made the show a hit originally.

In season one, every episode felt like a piece of a giant puzzle that did not fully reveal itself until the season’s conclusion. Season two was an incomplete picture and suffered harsh response for it. In season three there were too many pieces that didn’t fit together properly, but by the end things had somewhat sorted themselves out thanks to Bryan Fuller’s influence. This final season, while probably the most coherent since the first, lacked the polish the show once had. Every week it felt as if the writers were amazed they had not been cancelled yet and did not know how to continue on their story. Maybe NBC pulling the plug in May was the best thing to happen to the series, there was nowhere the show could go to rebuild its reputation. The final scene of ‘Brave New World’ showed the characters opening up and revealing their powers for the first time in four years, and left the show ending on an open note; the best possible ending for everyone involved.

Stop the presses! Print media has a reason to stay alive/10

2010-04-26T21:16:00.005+10:00

As someone who has paraded the 'gaming print media is dead' flag for some time now, it is very refreshing to be proven wrong. As an Aussie, the choices of Hyper and ... well, there aren't exactly a lot of choices for local non-platform specific news outlets. We do have access to the odd US/UK import, but by the time we shell out the monetary equivalent of two cups of coffee, the news is outdated and content mostly irrelevant.

Then BAM! Game Informer has the balls to go all Aussie with the latest news and game announcements while also throwing in relevant features regarding issues that are close to home. And at a price that barely deserves the name of 'price'!? Frankly, there is nothing to complain about while going through every issue cover-to-cover ... until I hit the numerical reviews.

While I have admitted being wrong to print media being irrelevant, I'll fight to the bitter end about my hatred of using a numerical symbol to grade an experience after using several hundred words to do the same thing. Numerical scores serve only to please fanboys who believe 'game x' is infinity times better than 'game y' because a reviewer scored it .2 higher. Actually, that is an understatement. Those numbers also give studio executives a quick justification for their dirty tricks.

Its no secret that publishers and business peoples alike look to review score collecting sites such as Metacritic for a quick evaluation on the success of games. Some publishers even determine the payment for the development team. High aggravated review scores on sites like Metacritic keep investors happy, while anything under, lets say 80%, is deemed insufficient and will see heads roll. Since publishers know the bulk of 'hardcore' game sales take place in the immediate launch window, they will put embargo's on major publications that do not say the game is absolutely perfect.

And here we find gaming publications faced with the dilemma of ethics of reviewing a game honestly but later, or being the first review available to the public just because your review has a 10/10 at the end. Those who think they can fight the system can just look at what happened in GameSpot HQ when longtime reviewer Jeff Gertsman gave latest ad-funded release Kane & Lynch a 6/10. For aspiring reviewers it does not paint an optimistic image for what we can do ...

But alas, in my first issue of Game Informer as a subscriber I see this issue addressed 2 pages in! Editor Chris Stead does not hide the honest fact that numerical scores are set up to serve the non-gamers who have money invested in these projects. It was refreshing to have someone from the journalism field come out and admit it. Along with the issues of sites like Metacritic, Stead also brings up the issue of how individual publications have different standards for reviews.

From his letter response in Game Informer #5

'It doesn't matter that every publication scores their games to their own criteria, much like we do as set out on the Reviews Intro page. Some are highly damning of bugs and mistakes, others will cop such things if the addictive storytelling or innovative gameplay overrides them ...

I urge you where possible to educate yourself on a publication's judging criteria, but understand why scores average around the 6 to 7 realm. Because if you were to start dropping 5s for an average score, and giving 4s to what you would usually give 6s the context and reasoning behind such a thing will not be understood in the broader global market...'

Stead hits the nail on the head right there with the issues around sites like Metacritic. Different publications use different systems to evaluate games for reviewing purposes. But we still see review scores grouped together without proper clarification as to why individual magazines and websites such scores. I know every time I have been involved with reviewing for different publications the standards are never the same. One mans 7/10 is another mans 5. It can be universally understood when a critic says 'game x is fast paced and entertaining, and should not be missed for fans of incredible action'. But in our ADHD obsessed world, 9.2/10 is somehow much easier to understand.

You got the touch

2010-03-09T14:40:00.000+11:00

For a while, the miracle of digital distribution seemed to only be popular on the PC end of gaming. The opportunity for small indie developers to make their works available to the gaming public for a fraction of the price of retail software has opened the doors for even more people to step into the industry. The current generation of console and handheld hardware has opened up more digital distribution channels with services such as Xbox Live Arcade, WiiWare and the PlayStation Network, but one of the biggest surprises is the success of the App Store on Apple's iPhone and iPod Touch range.

In just over a year of operation, the App Store has become home to over 65,000 individual applications ranging from virtual bubble wrap to touch versions of popular puzzle games like Tetris or Bejeweled. With prices ranging from free to hundreds of dollars, the option for cheap digital distribution of games has taken off. Independent developer Luc Bernard took a chance on the App Store with his strategy game Mecho Wars, and has reported great success from digital sales. On the other side of the coin, big name publishers like EA and Capcom are releasing App versions of some of their biggest franchises, including Madden NFL 2010 and Resident Evil 4.

The success of the App Store has changed Apple's marketing position towards the iPod Touch, with recent advertisements pushing its gaming capabilities over its other multimedia functions. The company has even taken swings at Nintendo and Sony in recent months, touting the App Stores larger library of software compared to both retail and digital offerings available on the Nintendo DSi and PlayStation Portable.

While the DSi is relatively new to the digital market, the PSP has offered access to the PlayStation Network for some time, but failed to reach consumers on a marketing level. The newly released PSP Go! is taking risks by ditching the disc drive featured on older PSP models and working entirely in the digital arena. Over the year, Sony has worked with publishers to make the existing library of games available in digital forms along with hard copy discs for retail – but higher price points and lack of regular sales have kept consumers at bay from ditching their local EB Games of JB Hifi. Although this problem may soon be resolved with the introduction of PSP Minis – smaller, available via download only games released at lower price points.

For now, the biggest difference between these choices are entry prices. All current PSP models can access the PlayStation Network, and are available for AU$279.95. The PSP Go! will be a bit more intimidating with an rrp of AU$449.95. Apple comes off slightly cheaper for consumers with the lowest entry price for the iPod Touch being the 8GB model for AU$268, with 32GB and 64GB editions also available for AU$399 and AU$549 each.

Heavy Rain Retrospective

2010-03-01T15:18:00.003+11:00

So I just recently finished my first playthrough of Heavy Rain (review to be featured on The Daily Gamer sometime this week) and with the recent PS3 wordwide crash I thought I might take this downtime to reflect upon my experiences. Obviously there are spoilers ahead for anyone yet to finish the game, but I’m sure some will still read out of temptation and complain that I spoiled the game for them. Nothin I can do about those peoples aside from tell them to GTFO plz, kthxbai.

note: this isn't a proper review of the gameplay/presentation, just my own reflections of my story.

SPOILER ALERT!!!

In short, I’m disappointed with my experiences in Heavy Rain. This doesn’t mean that I’m displeased with the quality of the story or characterisation, but more that I am not happy with the outcome that my actions lead to. I may have succeed in saving Shaun Mars from the Origami Killer, but the final outcomes for the main cast left me with little emotional attachment.

Firstly, Ethan Mars SHOULD HAVE DIED! In my story, my choices lead him to be a father in search of redemption; a man willing to do anything to repair his relationship with Shaun. While the earlier challenges posed little more than ‘risk vs reward’ scenarios, I really had to reflect on if it was worth sentencing Ethan to a certain death for the sake of his son. Giving in and taking the poison was one of the more powerful moments in the game and the developers should be rewarded for creating such a set-up. And to only fail and select the wrong address in the end (a fault of my not noticing how obvious the real location was) felt like the ultimate punishment for a man who was destined to fail. Which is why I was ready to start writing death letters to the development team when the epilogue showed Ethan still alive and developing a stable relationship with his son. A can appreciate the final test being more psycological than fatal, but the way in which it was presented felt as if it should have ending with an actual death.

And speaking of actual deaths, Madison’s death at the hands of the Origami Killer was a fault on my part (and I am willing to accept it) but I can’t help but feel her involvement in my story felt tacked on. I wonder if I were to go back and have her not help Ethan when she first saw him at the hotel, would the story have just gone on withoutany of her scenes? I didn’t hate her investigations into the killer, on the contrary I actually found the chapter with the doctor to be the most thrilling of all, but since the parts of the mystery she revealed were never relayed to Norman/Ethan, her story continued to feel separate rather than connected. Prehaps if she had survived her encounter with Scott, she would have felt more important to the outcome of the story.

Instead that role fell to Norman, the FBI agent with a drug habit and Batman-like detective vision. Looking back, the complaints I have about Madison could just as easily be applied to Norman if he had died instead of her. But with her dead and Ethan MIA, he became the centre focus for the final chapter and the overall hero. The changes in character perspective in the overall game feel as if they are little more than to flesh out one main hero’s journey, but until the last chapter that hero for me was Ethan. The sudden change of having Norman come in and be the saviour was abrupt and would be somewhat confusing in a storytelling perspective in my opinion, but as I stated at the beginning, issues like these were the end result of the choices I made so I cannot hold the game responsible for its storytelling methods.

END SPOILERS!!!

I think my overall complaint with this method is that the game holds onto all its secrets right until the end. On the first playthrough, the player is doing little more than blindly fumbling through the story with no direction of what outcomes will be had from his actions (assuming hint guides and walkthroughs are not used). When every PS3 in the world stops dying and I go back to play through the game with different choices, I feel like this will be the story that should have been told the first time around, a directors cut, if you will. With the overall story arc now revealed to me, I can succeed in making the right choices that will lead to a conclusion that I will not lose sleep over. But maybe I’m complaining over nothing, maybe this is how Quantic Dream wanted me to experience the story; constantly making mistakes that will lead to an outcome that I do not fully expect, and to rectify my errors only when I have a full understanding of the story at hand.

Film review - Zombieland

2009-12-09T18:14:00.002+11:00

I'll make a quick note to start things off: I find the term 'zombie' to be politically incorrect and offensive to those who have difficulties staying dead. So I shall try to get through this review without throwing the term around to the point that I will be sued by the corpse of Bill Murray, now let's start reviewing.

It's hard for me to enjoy movies about the non-living. Aside from the fact that we are already a bunch of brain-dead drones (as proven in Shaun of the Dead), the people in these movies all possess that irritating brain pattern of doing obviously stupid things leading to their immediate deaths. Z-land scores points right off the bat by having what are possibly the most intelligent people ever portrayed in an undead survival movie.

The 'rules' used by one of the main protagonists are pretty much what viewers have learned after years of watching people get caught off-guard and losing brains. Their continuous pop-ups during the movie put a smile on the viewers face, which will probably stay on there thanks to the constant humor.

Yes, Z-land is quite funny at times. While it is nowhere near the level of English wit features in Shaun of the Dead, Z-land relies on a more American type of humor – meaning in-your-face pop culture name drops a la Family Guy. If you can stomach these kind of laughs, then Z-land is one great roller coaster of fun.

If past movies in the genre have annoyed you, or you've grown tired of the same formula, Z-land is a must see. On your way to the cinema, be sure to remember rule #3 – wear seatbelts.

Nobody Miniviews - Afro Samurai

2009-08-17T09:54:00.003+10:00

I can't say I was expecting a samurai-themed video game staring Samuel Jackson to hold back at any point, but like so many game adaptations something feels off the moment I start. Maybe its the overuse of in-game symbols in the loading screens alone – more teddy bears than I need to fill my bed. Or maybe its because even the lowly grunts of the video game world take more effort to bring down than Afro ever needed in the hand drawn world.

Even with the comical slapstick of another Samuel Jackson character (since he needs a minimum of two roles in any movie/game/book ever made) doesn't feel right. Maybe its because instead of my bizarre id, he has had to take up a second job as a checkpoint marker to the end of a level. I know the economy is tough all round, but taking it as far as stylised feudal Japan shows how bad it is.

Well if there aren't enough coins/headbands to go around in tough times, I could always thin out the numbers with my trusty pointy object. But for some reason grunts don't fall into a million pieces on the first swing like they used to. Obscene video game rule # 258 “all sharp weapons shall do motherfucking all when trying to cut artificial life”. Oh, I may have spoken too soon! It seems faceless bad guys can become confetti if you rip off The Matrix and slow the fuck down. Motherfucking Success!

Miniviewed by Steven Janjic

email @ nobodygaming@gmail.com

Nobody Miniviews - De Blob

2009-08-02T17:03:00.003+10:00

It is amazing what developers are allowed to get away with in games that are labeled as 'kid friendly'. Mario is pardoned for mass genocide of a kingdom of turtles, not to mention his highly questionable fixation on shrooms. And here we have a 12 and under version of V For Vendetta. All these 'bad guys' wanted to do was create order and stop all those people distributing child pornography. Is that such as bad thing? Apparently so, because rebelling against authority is quite fun when you are a walking paint brush.

Rolling into town seems simple enough. Those janitors hired by the new regime seem to have done a good job in cleaning up this town, but now it seems kinda....boring. Wonder what they will say if I make a few trees red. Hmm, no one seems to be complaining – maybe a building next, or why not half a dozen buildings? Hey, now someone brought out the funky tunes in acknowledgement of me, and he knows how to play to my groove. Chillax time is a go!

But it seems the man doesn't quite want me chillaxing. For some completely stupid reason, there are time limits and high scores. However, since there are enough bonus time and points scattered around this totalitarian town, kinda seems that taxpayer dollars are going to waste with this scheme. And while I'm bitching about pointless ideas, whoever legislated that all jumping be regulated to swinging around wiimotes should be removed from office faster than Richard Nixon. But there is no time to complain, I seem to have earned a bajillion points and extras just by doing my own thing in town. Someone bring out the margaritas – the party is off the ball n chain!

Miniviewed by Steven Janjic

email @ nobodygaming@gmail.com

Nobody Miniviews - Assassin's Creed

2009-07-31T19:09:00.006+10:00

The atmosphere in the 12th century holy land is as washed out as the colours of the city walls and people. The flicking of the screen and unknown voices really put me in Jerusel- wait, screen flickering?Who and what are these omnipotent beings talking out of sight? And why am I a human lab rat in the future instead of a crusaders era assassin? Alright alright, I'll bear this science-fiction reject stuff if it means I get back to 'ye olde thyme' faster. Yes yes sit in the machine, suffer through a pointless tutorial, can we get on with it please?

Alright I'm in, but something still doesn't feel right. This is a video game, but Atalir is strangely well-endowed for a prologue. After killing a few guards and starting to enjoy myself, I discover Atalir suffers from a Metroid complex – the process of teasing players with a fully powered figure only to rip it away from them instantly. How someone forgets to tackle or shrug off being grabbed I don't know, but Atalir has found a way. Seems if I want all the swag returned to me, I gotta be a good dog and do grandpas chores; eavesdropping on who people think will be voted off Idol this week, and occasionally putting sharp objects into these people. So when do I get to start running around 12th century rooftops?

Finally out of the assassins castle, but now where the hell am I? It's going to take at least a week to reach Damascus with every single guard chasing me unless I walk at the same pace as an old man. And just when you need it, you remember that Atalir still hasn't remembered how to fight against the medieval police. How exactly does someone forget how to parry? Oh well, maybe the sci-fi rejects can answer that?

Miniviewed by Steven Janjic

email @ nobodygaming@gmail.com

Broken Taboo + Nobody Miniviews

2009-07-30T20:11:00.004+10:00

Yes I know the Platinum rerelease art is disgusting and ruins any style that boxart would otherwise posess, but for $15 it is hard to complain for something that will be this awesome. Of course I wont get much chance to play until after my rerun through Assassins Creed (for research purposes) but considering how long it will take to download all the new updates, I'll still be waiting for them to finish in 2011.

On the topic of reviews, since no one is calling shots on me at the moment and I've been looking for an alternative to just giving games random numbers out of 5 I will be introducing Miniviews starting this weekend.

One thing that I feel many reviewers overlook is the first impression that games give players. Like a publisher digging through a slush pile of writers, if a game fails to capture its audience early on, there is little incentive to pursue further. The idea is to avoid analysing gameplay mechanics and leaving a number at the end to rate my experience. And like a good piece of writing should, it wont go on for longer than it needs to (250-350 words is more than enough for this) This doesn't mean no more traditional reviews, but until I find a format that I feel suits my writing it is gonna be this kind of stuff instead.

Look forward to the experiment!

Cheers

Wii Sports Resort launch

2009-07-23T00:11:00.019+10:00

Plenty of crowds to get through at EB tonight, but its all in the name of Nintendo so it wont matter too much that a few children get crushed in the sea of peoples.

Can't say I blame them either. Mx pretty much guaranteed some presence at the event by promising free copies of Wii Sports Resort to the first five people to arrive, which was pretty much gone by 6pm (not bad for a launch starting at 10). Things didn't get much better out in the cold when the pre orders were piling up at the last minute as you can see belows.

Now enough wasting time and get back to killing your 56k connections!

Too sleep deprived to add the usual witty/annoying comments, so take what you get and enjoy it! Now is my time for my passing out, Cheerzzzzzzz*sleeps*

Just a quickie

2009-07-22T01:31:00.003+10:00

Due to teenagers being noctural creatures I don't think I will be considering sleep tonight. Class in a few hours should be plenty dull with a substitute teacher for the next three weeks (one of which has quite the reputation of being meh) so I'll have plenty of time to catch my z's before the Wii Sports Resort launch tonight at EB Swanston.

Lack of funds to pick it up tonight, not even to buy/play for 3-4 days/return for instant refund. Shame to, since a free second MotionPlus and dual Wiimote charger are being offered as bonuses for we Nintendrones with no other outlet for disposing of cash money. On the bright side, there will still be a few hours to try out the games on display and give a half assed demo write up instead of a full review, now lets just hope Nintendo have the balls to stop distracting me with archery and swordfighting and show off the rest of the sports on offer.

Anyways I'm thinking a GTO marathon til the sun comes round the corner

Cheers

Connection Tour 2009 - Welcome to the resort or whatever

2009-07-10T23:33:00.004+10:00

Just in case you couldn't tell from giant sign hanging overhead, it was the time of the casual gamer once again. Beneath the behemoth of a sign was the island of DSi inhabited by the people of Rythym Heaven and Pokemon Platinum along with the usual collection of touch generation samples used to entice those with several mortgage payments to go.

Around the mountain that housed the DS games we had numerous tv sets showing off mostly why people should pay money for this game instead of sticking to the free bundle of Wii tennis and bowling. While all 12 sports weren't shown off (or maybe they were and I just didn't notice between all the Rythym Heaven + Guitar Hero) I did get a taste of what to expect when the game hits later this month. For now I'll save my opinions til I get more time at the launch party later this month, and instead just dump the less-blury pics from my borrowed camera.

Pull back on the nunchuck...

...hit the target...

...and win a silly hat!

The budget for chairs clearly went into those headphones.

Yours truly about to defend his honor in Wii Swordplay ... he failed.

But that's not a DS- oh wait, I get it!

Finishing up with the swag haul of 09'

Dear Sony

2009-07-08T21:30:00.006+10:00

I understand you wanting to give we consumers a choice in a nation where our internet downloading capabilities are ... let's say, limited. And it's great for those collector nerds such as myself who like to display pointless cases for games that I will never sell and probably only come back to 3-4 times in my life.

But really Sony, how much more would it have cost you to make plastic cards with PSN funds and supply them to local Australian retailers? Heck, they could sell these pre paid cards to consumers who want to actually BUY YOUR GAMES but have no access to credit cards. I can only live so long off the single demo track available for Wipeout HD - although if you are still releasing PSN games on disc, I wouldn't mind it on my shelf. And this new PSP Go! If it is going anywhere IMO, its straight to eBay for most Australian users when we discover little Timmy needs mummy and daddy to give out important credit card info so he can play Patapon.

We are not asking for blood Sony, just a way for us disgruntled Australian Playstation users to give you more of our dipleating stimulus packages (does anyone still have $$$ from those?) Anyways, please get on this issue immediately so everyone can get back to the important issues, like bitching about how expensive the systems themselves are!

signed in virtual blood

Australian Playstation users

PS. I'll be heading down to the Connection Tour sometime this weekend, stay tuned for pics and pointless bitching about Wii Sports Resort.

Review - Ratchet And Clank: Quest For Booty

2009-07-07T18:19:00.002+10:00

What do you get when you take a popular game series, and strip it down to its bare essentials? The ignorant answer would be Ratchet & Clank: Quest For Booty. But upon closer inspection of this 'episodic' sequel, Insomniac have instead put more focus on the often light platforming side of the series. To calm down the overly excited fans for the upcoming 2009 sequel to Tools Of Destruction, the budget bit of entertainment just might do the job.

Taking off the heels of the 2007 release, Quest For Booty continues Ratchets journey to track down his friend Clank. The absence of the robotic companion takes away quite a bit from the series strengths, not only in gameplay functions but also in the humour often found in this series writing. Along with the laughs, the weapons from the last game have returned in a more limited form. With so many past elements removed, it is hard for the new kinetic wrench to stand out in the frequent platforming sections.

One thing that has not changed in the game is the high level of presentation. Despite less epic environments, the visuals still pack the same punch that were first used in 2007. And even with weaker writing the voice acting still manages a solid performance from all round. For its short length, Quest For Booty is pleasing to look at and listen too.

So in the end there mechanics are stripped down, the laughs are weak unless you have some sort of pirate fetish and the whole thing comes to an immediate halt after 3-4 hours with no closure in order to get people in line for the upcoming release in 2009. If not for the budget release at retail it would be hard to recommend to fans of the series. But for $30, hardened Ratchet fans won't mind jumping in and setting sail on a semi-grand adventure.

Presentation – 4/5

Gameplay – 3/5

Value – 2/5

Overall – 3/5

Reviewed by Steven Janjic

Review - Dead Space

2009-07-05T22:26:00.004+10:00

With so many games using elements of horror to appeal to hardcore gamers, how does the survival horror genre stand out from the competition? If you ask EA Redwood, the answer is to take the genre into space, and rip everyones legs off. Dead Space borrows elements from various films and games to deliver a somewhat unique experience, but at times still comes across as little more than a marketing tool for dismembering limbs.

With the crew from a mining ship going MIA, players take the role of generic gaming mute Isaac Clarke while he follows orders to repair the ship, uncover the truth about what the heck is going on, and possibly find his missing love squeeze. The story remains solid thanks to an abundance of passive voice messages and being able to walk around during cutscenes. However the religious overtones and alien technology feel cliche at best, and the story does little to deliver true feelings of horror.

Once inside the game, Dead Space tries its hardest to convince you it is a legit survival horror. The flickering lights and blood splattered walls do make for more atmosphere than a spaceship should have, and while the monsters are more hyperactive than a child on red cordial, the designs are definitely creepy. And while the sound design gives away 90% of the scares, the lack of sounds in the outer space portions really show an attention to detail. Problems arise with Isaac and his limb breaking boot though. Controlling Isaac makes any elements of fear disappear as he is casually able to beat the creepy crawlies to death with their own legs.

Fear issues aside, the core design of the exploration gunplay is solid. While over the shoulder cameras are nothing new for the genre, ingame inventory management and menus are a rare treat. In terms of control, Dead Space plays like a textbook example of functional mechanics to reach from point A to point B over 12 linear chapters. The dismemberment feature is impressive at first, but within the first hour you can't help but feel the game is riding on this feature by reminding you about it almost half a dozen times.

There are games that can taunt innovation and be considered the greatest thing since sliced bread. Dead Space is nowhere near that. Dead Space is a gamers game, it has plenty of sexy sexy violence and a functional (if derivative) design philosophy. Like an enjoyable summer blockbuster movie, Dead Space would be best taken in with a bucket of popcorn if it were possible to have a third alien arm feed you while playing.

Presentation - 4/5

Gameplay – 5/5

Value – 3/5

Overall – 4/5

Reviewed by Steven Janjic

E3 2009 - Lets Get Physical!

2009-07-02T01:13:00.001+10:00

The Electronic Entertainment Expo is always about more than than just announcing a re-release of last years popular game with the number 2 (sometimes 3) attached. At this years E3 representatives from Microsoft, Nintendo and Sony all announced plenty of new hardware to excite gamers, some announcements more amazing than others.

Possibly the most intriguing hardware announcement from all three companies was Project Natal from Microsoft. Using nothing but this new camera, players would be able to interact with their games using nothing but their own body. While this sounds just like something that has been around for a long time now, there was more to show than flailing arms. A video demo of Milo showed people being able to use vocal tones and words to interact with virtual images on screen. Milo himself is able to see through the Natal camera and compliment what you are wearing and even gets you to help him with various tasks. What makes the latter more amazing is its execution. In one scenario, the player draws an image on a normal piece of paper and brings the page closer to the camera, as if to hand it to Milo. Hopefully some Japanese Date Sim developers take notice and put this technology to good use.

Nintendo has spent plenty of time showing off its Wii MotionPlus accessory, which promises to allow the Wii controller to achieve full 1:1 motion controls. The accessory is available starting July for $29.95 or bundled with Wii Sports Resort and other selected games. The newer, less exciting reveal at E3 was the Wii Vitality Sensor – a device used to track a players pulse and temperature. No new games were revealed showing how this could be applied, but knowing the Big N, it will sell faster than free food to the homeless.

Sony, not wanting to be left out of the scene, jumped in with a 'me too' announcement for a motion controller. Unlike the other big boys, this concept appeared far from completion – not even having a name or final design plan to show off. What was shown was a nice combination of the other two companies work, using the existing Playstation Eye and new two-part controller, players had full 1:1 control in the virtual environment. On a more portable note, the Playstation Portable is getting a major overhaul with the PSP Go! A redesign doing away with the standard UMD drive for games, replacing it with 16GB of internal memory for gamers to keep their games purchased from the online Playstation Store. Despite this not being motion controlled, the message is getting across – you gamers need to get off the couch to play your games!

But it is going to be hard to draw people away from their dualshocks with all the less casual games revealed this year. New titles such as Metal Gear Solid: Rising, Final Fantasy XIV, Metroid: Other M and so on will continue to drain life out of the hardcore gaming masses. Meanwhile people looking for something more original can look forward to Heavy Rain, Alan Wake and Scribblenauts. Look forward to more information on these games when later in the year, and continue the tradition of the couch potato gamer.

Just when I finally KICKED the habit!

2009-05-08T16:23:00.005+10:00

Seriously, I was pretty much going to snuff out the idea of Pokemon Platinum since it has done little to win me over from the last game (which I prematurely ended after growing bored trying to train my dream team) But announcing remakes of Gold/Silver is a guaranteed way to put me back in the waiting line to give Nintendo my money.

I still consider Gold/Silver/Crystal to be the pinacle of the series. It literally built on everything that Red/Blue/Yellow had, and did so without losing any charm that the series had. While the series never really focused on this idea, there was a continuation of the R/B/Y storyline with characters moving on after their brick gameboy adventures. And most importantly, it still had MOTHERFUCKING TEAM ROCKET! And so, while I doubt uppity Japanese developers will pay attention to the ramblings of a madman, here is what I want to see happen with these new games

DITCH EVERYTHING POST-251!

It's not a new generation pokemon game without new critters to enslave, and to me the G/S/C generation of pokemon were the best designed. They still had a feeling of originality while feeling in place with the original 151 designs. Since then the new pokemon have gotten more and more bizzare designs to distract the fanboys that they have been playing the same game for 10 years. In short: The new pokemon suck and should not be seen anywhere in the Johto or Kanto regions. Even if it means the Starly family is nowhere to be seen.

SPEED THE WHOLE FUCKING THING UP!

A fairly new problem for me. When I started Poke Diamond I found the inclusion of 3D sprites to have really 'wiped off 5' even when holding down the run button. Sure the GB games were also slow, but 2D sprites still got along faster than anything the beret-wearing snail could do. In fact, now I get that whole beret thing! The DS male trainer is a French snail! And yea, who likes the French anyway? Give the guy a can of Red Bull to speed him up.

MAKE IT POSSIBLE TO GET THE REMAINING LEGENDARIES!

Well, maybe not the new legendaries, since that would conflict with request #1. But having to fill Pokemon Ranch with 1000 pokemon to obtain a Mew is fucking insane and whoever thought this up should be shot, stabbed and left to rot on Haley's ranch. In fact, NO MORE buying spin-off games to obtain a single legendary pokemon! So make it possible to get all 5 birds, all 3 dogs, those 2 Mewthings and a fucking Celebi! If those GBA-DS era legendaries MUST be featured, throw in items to make them accessible in the Diamond/Pearl/Platinum so they don't dirty up my Johto journey.

Of course Nintendo could do none of this and fill this remake with nothing but DSi minigames and Bidoof's and I would still buy it like the good whipping boy I am. But one can't help but dream, can they?

I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T!

2009-04-26T20:22:00.005+10:00

To start this off, I should clarify that I am NOT DRUNK! I've had this thought in the back of my head for a while now that I haven't been able to piece together until now. So if there are holes in my insane conspiracy theories, blame it on too much Metal Gear Solid 4 and continue to ignore me and my genius.

Since its release, everyone (myself included) has praised Killer 7 as an example of the video game being more art than entertainment. But just what about it makes it a demonstration of art? Does a videogame need to use obvious cel shading to be considered artistic in merit? Of course not! But then what makes Killer 7 something more than the usual Capcom 'lets appease the Western market with b-grade plots and 80s action movie gore'

And that's when it hit me

I recalled early mentions of a later Goichi Suda directed game, No More Heroes, satiring the modern idea of open world sandbox game. While the game itself did little to captivate on the open world concept compared to the likes of Grand Theft Auto or even Assassins Creed, its lack of substance to the city of Santa Destroy achieved Suda51's goal to satire the likes of GTA with his own unique flare. Examples of satire are found in films, with many minds going straight to the likes of Monty Python team, or Mel Brooks films. Satire must be the key, even if not immediately appreciated by the critics. But in 10 years time, gamers will recall that cult hit that took the piss out of every single action game from the 2000s, even if they don't remember the name (for those untrained in the likes of game knowledge, I refer to the recently released Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazzard)

Now we rewind back to 2005 and Killer 7. Is the artistic merit hidden in elements of satire? I would argue yes! And to further back up my argument, I already have the perfect whipping child for Suda's cult creation. My prime suspect is none other than Resident Evil. Without calling me crazy, there is more to this connection than RE creator Shinji Mikami being a producer on this game.

- Easiest one first, Killer 7 is heavy on the fetch quests and bizzare puzzles. When not deciding which magic ring to use on what area, you were cracking codes and revealing secret messages to add more questions to the plot than answers. RE is probably a bit more focused on its insane puzzles, but what was more a frustration in 1996 becomes a weird headscratcher in 2005.

- No camera control. This one took me a while to place, but it perfectly fits into a RE themed satire. Early titles in the Resident Evil series had many reasons to stick to static camera angles. Lack of control raised tension for the player. The game could use overly pretty pre-rendered images to do more visually than the original Playstation could achieve. But most importantly, the camera angles were cool because they gave you the best cinematic viewpoint. Without bringing back the human-tank controls, Killer 7 has some fantastic cinematic views.

- The enemies like hide and seek. Going back to the static camera of Resident Evil, the player was never sure about what, if anything, was waiting for them around the corner. This kind of peekaboo tactic is RE's main source of horror, but without talking about scares, it just means that the zombies were rarely standing out in the open. The heaven smiles of Killer 7 may not be hiding around the corner wall, but they are still hidden to the naked eye. They must be 'scanned' to reveal their location before the player is attacked.

So, am I crazy? Or have I discovered the source of Killer 7's art cred?

What the fuck Kotaku!?!?!?!

2009-04-13T00:52:00.003+10:00

Seriously Kotaku, what the hell!? How come I had to find about about a DS Haruhi game, and Wii Hare Hare dancing through other websites? Standard Kotaku policy dictates regular posts regarding all things Haruhi related, followed by a embedd display of Hare Hare Yukai.

Guess it's time to pick up Bashcrafts slack

Peekabo, 'i' See You

2009-04-08T14:59:00.002+10:00

Nintendo are no strangers to hardware updates, so the Nintendo DSi should come as no surprise to handheld devotees. The latest revision to the Nintendo DS hardware feature two (count em, TWO!) built in cameras, music playback through SD cards, built in web browser, improved speakers and larger screens. For a company that traditionally is conservative with multimedia features, Nintendo seem to have pulled out all the stops this time. But is this the upgrade all should be running to get?

To start things off on the new checklist, one of the more interesting additions is the DSiWare store. Totally not trying to take a page from the iPhones App Store, DSiWare allows users to make their DSi unique with various games and features. Already available in Japan are Nintendo themed calculators, virtual sketchbooks, and themed editions of the popular Brain Training series. Prices range from free downloads, up to 800 Nintendo Points ($12)

Along with downloadable software, the DSi has a few multimedia features to show off. Music playback, multiple cameras and image support are being touted as reasons to upgrade. However, many users will find compatibility with existing images and music to be poor at best. No MP3 compatibility, limited image formats, and the cameras are lower quality than mobile phones two generations ago. In short, if you want a multimedia device, stick with your Playstation Portable/iPhone/iRiver/iEtcetera.

Where entertainment upgrades may be a mixed bag in terms of upgrades, everyone should be happy with the presentation of the DSi. Gone is the fingerprint-absorbing gloss finish, replaced with an easier to clean matte finish on the outside of the system. Gamers will also appreciate the improved audio speakers and expanded screen sizes. Time will tell if the DSi can stand the test of day to day wear, but if people were careful with their Lites then the DSi should live through anything.

But the question remains – should owners of the original DS and DS Lite consider upgrading to the DSi? The answer: yes and no. While better external designs and a method of digital distribution may win over the easily converted, the limited multimedia and higher price point will make others second guess themselves. At $299.95, the DSi may not be everyone's idea of a easy buy. For others without a DS (are you guys still out there?) this looks to be the definitive version of this incredibly popular device. i hope to see you all enjoying your DSi systems at home, on the train, in between classes at tafe, and anywhere else you want.

All aboard the hype train, choo choo choo!

2009-04-04T20:48:00.025+11:00

A cold Wednesday night. I'm still trying to recover from previous night of alcohols but I must belong to the masses that call themselves fanboy- opps, I mean gamers.

Anyways jokes aside, the Nintendrones were there in the masses. Kinda strange considering how much these same people condemn the DSi and its Nintendo-style of features on the interwebs. But when Nintendo calls, peoples come - it just happened that the Womens Weekly and Cosmopolitan readers were washing their hair on the night.

Already stocking DSi accessories

While the event was't quite starting up until 10pm, people were already there in preperation for the big event and for last minute pre orders of the system. In order to entice any on the ropes people or parents of 11 years olds who had already pre ordered their own system, EB were throwing in free copies of the 'Training' games with every DSi purchased that night. And what better way to push a cynical game writer over the edge than making the price $150 when you pawn off your DS Lite. I guess I could cave in tonight.

One last photo for memories (or lulz)

As I stood in line, removing my copy of GTA: Chinatown Wars from my almighty DS Lite, I decided I would have to live without the possibility of playing my GBA games (oh yea, and Jessie's Girl on Guitar Hero On Tour). When it came my turn to be served I announced that they had won and I was trading in my Lite. Then came the turning point. "Do you have the charger with you?" As this was an impulse moment of course I didn't have any stinkin charger with me. Oh sure I could have spent $15 on a charger to trade in with the Lite, but by that point I was looking for any excuse to back out. Dodged a $150 matte black bullet with that wall in front of me. Oh wait, its time to start up that whole event thing

There is, but one ring, to rule them all!

The velvet rope was removed. It was time for the nintendrones to march up the stairs and experience the Nintendo...experience. A bunch of Nintendo Wii systems are set up for the nights Mario Power Tennis tournament (aka. an easy way for a person to score a second DSi in the night). That said, yours truely was sure to get his rear end handed to him in the first round, by someone he knew from high school to make things worse! On the bright side, despite not serving V/Red Bull/Mother/Poison as the choice of beverage, Nintendo knows what its audience digests.

To quote someone from the night "they're doing well - they have us eating out of dog bowls"

Long story short, no one told Nintendo that daylight savings was a week late and this 'midnight' launch was more of an 11pm launch. Not as charming I know, but whatever gets me home before I miss the last tram. I tried my luck at haggling the EB employees for a DSi without that bullocks trade in, but the best I could get em down to was $299.95 which was too much for me so I moved on and proceeded to snap pictures of the lucky people who could afford the rrp and still sleep at night. Enough talking now, time for pictures acompanied by my dry, unfunny wit.

The lucky first two showing off their DSi's - Don't ya just wish you were them? Yea, me neither.

Too busy enjoying that DSi to notice the free ice cream being handed to her right now.

Yea he has a DSi, so what? Smiling is for the weak after all!

But thats not a...oh I get it! Even more ironic - he wasn't playing a PSP game (oh snap!)

At least this guy has a DSi, and he seems happy about it too

Two nerds and only one DSi? Hope they learn to share

You gotta admire the nerds that take the time to inspect their goods on the spot. They just DO NOT trust Nintendo to give them that second styli

The closest I will get to a DSi for quite some time (at least a DSi without security restrains trapping it on the EB tables)

At the end the boxes were empty and the dog bowls were nothing but holes with bits of sugar sitting on the bottom. And that is pretty much it. Nothing that wouldn't have been covered by others by now since I am a couple days late in reportings. All thats left to do is say 'Cheers' and go get my 8 hours.

Cheers

PS.

Outdated!

Holy crap! This is the real deal

2009-03-29T19:07:00.004+11:00

Yup, after showing off the greatest trailer of all time no one could consume the sheer awesomeness of the Duke. In response to this, everyone stuck their heads in the sand and pretended that this would join the ranks of Duke Nukem Forever.

But I knew better

And as of today, I know for a fact that the handheld Duke Nukem trilogy is the real deal. Seems to be VERY early on, and I still can't help but doubt the 09' release of this game. Not because the devs will fuck up and not finish in time, but because sudden release delays fits right into Duke lore alongside alien pigs and strippers by this point. Although first they need to release a section of a low-res screenshot to prove the games existance to the public. Til then while everyone has their heads in the sand, I will be proceeding to walk around picking pockets until I have enough to pick up the trilogy on both systems.

Cheers

Seriously, this is just fucking cruel!!

2009-02-16T10:49:00.003+11:00

Just when you start getting used to being as broke as the US economy, this has to remind you that the drip of new releases is about to go full blast til December. But even with my experties in bargain hunting, all I can afford for a while is the train ticket to get to my local game retailers to look at the boxes. Maybe if I'm lucky I can pick up the box and hold it for a little while too *fingers crossed*

I mean, come on! If I don't get out there and grab myself a copy of Petz: My Monkey Family, I just might have to kill someone.

Censorship is a real *****!

2009-02-13T18:54:00.001+11:00

Ever since the release of Space Invaders, violence has been present in video games. While the culling of various alien lifeforms was not enough to start a mass outcry, censorship has been sticking side by side with games for many years now. In the early 90s after the industry took one step too many over the line, a rating system was introduced to help keep overly sensitive content from younger audiences. But that was over a decade ago. And now in a world where video games are becoming more than a child's plaything, does this system of regulation need to evolve?

Over the years the medium itself has been able to mature on a technical and artistic basis. Pixels have given way to polygons, points have been replaced by plots and so on. And with this increase in realism, comes an increase of public outcry from family first groups and other anti-violence associations. After several years of 'controversial' releases it's almost tradition for minority groups to spread word about these games existence. Because after all, it isn't quite a Grand Theft Auto release without grand media hysteria from these organisations.

In 2008, the Australian Classification Board had several run-ins with games that they deemed too extreme for Australia's highest video game rating of MA15+. During the year, a total of five games have been refused classification in Australia, meaning the importing or ownership of these titles is considered illegal. So far, two of the five (Dark Sector, Fallout 3) have received minor edits and have been resubmitted for rating with both being released at the MA15+ rating. At this time two games (Shellshock 2, Silent Hill: Homecoming) remain unreleased while the publishers try to find a solution to allow these games into consumers hands, and the final game (F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin) has successfully appealed the ban and gotten through unedited.

The lack of an R18+ rating for adult oriented software has caused many games to suffer the fate of heavy editing in Australia or simply for the banned titles to never reach our shores. Australia is the only developed nation that does not have an adults 18+ or equivalent rating for video games, making our nation one of the strictest in terms of video game regulation. However, while we may ban a handful of games every year, it's what is let into the country that demonstrates why we need to update our rating system with an R18+ rating.

In April 2008, Grand Theft Auto IV was released in Australia to the delight of gamers nationwide. What was kept hidden until the last minute was that the developers had submitted an edited version of the game to the Australian ratings board. Upon comparison of the Australian build and international versions, the only difference was being able to move the camera from its 'behind the car' view when soliciting prostitutes. All drug references, violence and other mature material was left intact, available to any 15 year old teenager. The same game is rated 18+ in all other developed countries, which makes you wonder why the government is letting this loophole slide instead of giving the Classification Board an option to increase the rating to an R18+ level.

The most recent game to be refused classification, F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin, was banned for high levels of violence. Luckily for publishers Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment, an immediate appeal against the ban has allowed the game to be released unedited at the MA15+ rating. Once again, demonstrating the flaws in Australia's dated rating system.

While it is only a small percentage of games that would require the new rating to prevent banning, dozens of games that would otherwise be crammed into a lower MA15+ rating would finally be properly classified. It has taken numerous complaints to the Attorney Generals, who need to unanimously agree to introduce the new rating, to even agree to discuss the idea. Aside from South Australian AG Michael Atkinson all are in favour of a new rating. Hopefully with growing media attention on the issue and consumer awareness about video game ratings, Atkinson will give in and allow Australia to grow up and give games the ratings they deserve.

Yea yea, no excuses. I'm just lazy

2009-02-07T22:36:00.004+11:00

Whew, this has been a good month+ long nap. Now with a reason to get out of bed again I've run out of excuses for not doing any productive writing, sooooooooo ummm. Yea if Anthony gives a damn I'll get started on some of those holiday reviews I never got around to writing (list after this ranting), tomorrow, or sometime this week, I'll get around to uploading the censorship piece featured in the orientation issue of The Box.

Classwork is still going to be pushing my writing of the video games of course, but as to 'how' it will be pushing it (especially in Small Press Publishing) the final outcomes are still nowhere near set in stone. I would love to try some type of print distribution, of course the power of the internet makes stuff like news and reviews pointless, meaning I might have to use more than the usual 3 brain cells. The Non-Fiction genre essays are still going ahead, but as to formats and details included, and even length, I'm still undecided. Really feels out of place in my class through since 90% of the class are writing memoirs/biographies. Also yet to be determined is my choice of workplace for practical placement, so stay tuned!

Reviews to look forward to

AC/DC Rock Band track pack

De Blob

Dead Space

John Woo Presents Stranglehold

Mirror's Edge

Ratchet Quest For Booty

Valkyria Chronicles

Yakuza 2

Also, when is someone going to kill that Stephen Conroy so the threat of Australia going all totalitarianism will vanish with his stupid clean feed stratagy. If its a hiding spot for the corpse that is holding up the situation, feel free to use my backyard, its a small price to pay for the good of the nation lol.

Cheers

PS. In case this filter does go through, heres a list of debateable areas of interest that will get this blog banned in Australia.

-Abortion would have killed Beethoven if it were available to his family, so I am happily anti-abortion.

-Anorexia suffers need help and should seek advice from counsilers. Or just talking to friends who can knock some sense into ya (avoid friends who are also suffering from Anorexia, otherwise this goes nowhere fast)

-Breast/Boob/Tit cancer is responsible for 'x' number of deaths a year, give to whatever charities to help support research/cures

-Even I wont touch the subject of euthenasia with a 10 foot pole (but mentioning it will help get this page blacklisted by ACMA)

-Free Tibet

-Chairman Mao was NOT right, get over yourself!

-Kevin Rudd wants to change his last name to Zedong

-If all goes shit, Hugo Weaving will save us by blowing up Parliament House

And now for the fun part..

2008-12-23T21:01:00.003+11:00

"Deck the halls". "Jingle Bells". "Theres no chance in hell I'm kissing you, even under the mistletoe" I've pretty much heard them all, meaning that xmas is lacking in sufficient surprises. What is always a pleasent jump every year is the 26th, a.k.a. Boxing Day.

Last year was pretty disappointing when it came to Boxing Day sales for me. Just out of high school, unemployed, almost no holiday money, no online purchasing ability and not getting to shops until late in the afternoon. Oh sure I managed a single obscure PS2 rpg, but in the days of 'HD' and 'sixaxis' more was needed.

Now that the budget has opened up to cover almost all major platforms, the excitement bug is jumping around inside me. Or maybe its because everyone at work is complaining about how much they hate xmas that Boxing Day is the last holiday of 2008 that hasn't been hated on by the masses. But all these 'happy holidays' n 'merry hanukkah' aside, there is something that is sorta bugging looking at potential purchases this week. There is too much shit to buy and play released every yearly fourth quater!

In short, I will have to skip on most of the big AAA+ hype releases. And for once its not about cost factor, there just isn't enough time to get through them all. Now that I can finally get off my rear end and start reviewing again its asking too much of one man to deal with an entire holiday release schedule (and all the other stuff throughout the year that he's missed from not having a PS3)

I'll have to just play it out and see what ends up in my shopping bags on Friday, so til then

Cheers

Anybody Home?

2008-12-12T21:53:00.003+11:00

I know what you are thinking. Yet another 'zomg home is broken!' rant to join the other eleventy billion out there, cause we just needed one more don't we < /sarcasm >

However, my experience with home today, while brief, was a lot less broken then others. So suffice to say, while I was quick to get into Home, I was quick to get out of it. I guess when you are an Australian on our internet, 3D virtal worlds aren't going to be embracing us with open arms so much as keeping us out of the Town Square while taking half an hour to download the area.

Before realizing that I would be stuck in my apartment for my visit to Home, the system itself seems quite simple, if a bit limited. While trying to create a virtual nobody to match my own likeness I realized something: The character creation tools made available barely surpass the Mii Channel in variety and you would have to be VERY drunk to mistake the virtual me for the real deal. Hopefully more freebie options are made available for character creation, since I don't want to pay real world money just to get my correct hair/eye colour (and one more thing Sony, why do all but 2 of the face options look like neanderthal men?)

As I'm too cheap for a headset and too lazy to find a USB keyboard I spent about 5 minutes running around my lightly furnished apartment (that I could only dream about matching in location and style) yelling to the room that I do not have a headset of keyboard. By the time I realized the men in the crazy mobile wern't coming to put me in a straight jacket and socially interact with me I proceeded to dance the robot and leave Home until the day when my internet connection can manage the task of getting me out of my apartment.

So in short, hopeful and potential. But even for a day 1 beta over 2 years in the making I feel a little disappointed. But at least I can sleep easy at night knowing that Senator Conroy is jumping for joy at the idea of Australia with an internet so broken he could spend his days in office swimming in piles of hate mail/death threats.

Cheers for now

By popular demand

2008-12-07T19:15:00.007+11:00

So yea, at the request of the masses I have to write stuff here. Quite a bit has come n gone this last month so its about time I was given this little push in the general direction of the keyboard.

Now as I am still a student, reenrollment was the second biggest thing from the tafe side of news in recent weeks (the biggest being my recieving an award for my awesomeness) and looks like I'll be quite a bit busier next year then I ever was in 2008. Aside from the two core subjects I can look forward to doing practical placement in some building of professional writing peoples (no idea where yet), non-fiction writing project, myths and symbols and professional publishing. So yea, bit of a jump from the 4 subjects I blugged my way through this year.

The one that I'm generally paying most attention to for 09 is non-fiction writing, because as the good nerd I am I will be continuing the writing of the videya games in that class. Instead of a full book I've been given the ok to write a series of essays on a particular subject, so the plan is for a series of essays with each detailing the growth n elements of specific game genres. As it stands now I unsure which few will get the special class treatment so I'm open to requests, will report on more about this later in the holidays.

And to end the suspence on what is going on about getting a 360 or PS3 I shall bring it to a close here and now. First on the list will be the PS3 this upcoming week thanks to a surprisingly good deal from Harvey Norman (of all places!) for an 80GB console with LittleBigPlanet, collectors edition Far Cry 2, Mirror's Edge and blu ray copy of Casino Royal. The 360 is still on hold until at least another $100 is wiped off the pro bundle prices. Yes the system is cheap enough now, but for something that is going to stay offline (thanks to no built in wifi) it doesn't deserve $400 price tag. That and the bundled games don't interest me, at least not compared to some of the other bundles going on around the world.

So there ya have it, you happy Jordan!

Cheers

P.S. In a vein attempt to look more professional there is a new contact email for the potential new clients. Email is nobodygaming@gmail.com (and dont worry others who know me, ill be using the ol email for personal use still)

Desparadooooooooo

2008-11-11T21:49:00.005+11:00

Just when I thought I had made up my mind and was proudly touting I would be buying a Playstation 3 sometime after xmas, Microsoft have to make me turn my head and notice their crazy new Australian price drop on all Xbox 360 models. Now it goes something like this

Xbox Arcade - $299

Xbox 20GB Pro Console - $349

Xbox 60GB Pro Console - $399

Xbox Elite Console - $549

While the Elite is still incredibly overpriced for its only redeeming features (being the 120GB hard drive and black colour) the other systems are looking very appealing. Even though I'm still committed to my plans to buy a Playstation 3 sometime between boxing day and start of my 2009 classes, I can't help but 'want' to jump into the Xbox gaming pool and see what I'm missing now that the systems are coming down in price this fast. I guess I should get all the details lined out about why I have been pro PS3 this whole time

Playstation 3

pros

-80GB HDD, easily upgradeable to anying from 120-500GB

-Built in Wifi

-Free online play via PSNetwork

-Already have Rock Band equipment for PS2 (meaning no new hardware required)

-System does not use a prehestoric disc tray

cons

-AU$699!

-Stripped backwards compatibility for PS2 games

-Trophies don't apply to all games

-Where the hell is Home!?!?

now heres the factors for the Xbox 360

pros

-Cheaper than a Wii

-Achievements/Gamerscore

-New Xbox Experience will help save my discs

-Avatars

-Xbox Live Arcade

cons

-Consoles stability reputations

-Disc tray is still a threat to my games pre install

-Paying for Xbox Gold

-No built in Wifi (and no way in hell I'm paying extra for a Wifi adapter)

Now the situation for me about built in Wifi is a big one, since I don't use a wired connection for anything in my house, and the internet connection is pretty far from where the console would be living. Meaning I can pretty much pass on Xbox Live Gold/Demos/DLC/Live Arcade. Of course now that games can be installed onto the harddrive I'll have a use for the 20GB/60GB storage. All this means is that I will still buy third party software on PS3 just to make use of online play n such, but theres still the matter of Microsofts exclusives.

With no other way to say this I'll just put it out there. Is it worth buying an Xbox 360 Pro Conosle (I'd be gunning for a 60GB deal) for single player experiences in games like Halo/Gears of War and single player exclusives like Fable 2/Ninja Gaiden 2?

I really need to sleep on this, its hurting my head. The only cure for a sore head would be to go play some more Rock Band so I'm out for tonight

Cheers!

Stoiboi and his new Toi

2008-11-08T22:23:00.005+11:00

xmas decided to pop in a tad early this year for me, and Santy Clause left me a little something (heavily emphisise the 'little'). After a year of complaining about the disc drive in my Inspiron 6400 being mostly for decoration and avoiding the 'ctrl' and 'backspace' keys to keep them attached I can finally say screw you to Dell and upgrade (or is it a downgrade?) to an Acer Aspire One netbook!

As a student who is on trains for hours every week with nothing to do a netbook is perfect for me. Although in a somewhat opposite direction I opted for the XP version over the super streamlined Linux model, simply out of fear of change like a politician born in the baby boomer generation. The strange part about coming off a laptop that was once touted to be comparible to standard desktops to a netbook is very little has been lost over the transition. After a day of making the machine my own I've noticed that any attempts to really 'push' the Aspire One will show its weak point. The Aspire One simply isn't built to handle multiple beefy applications that you would run without a second thought on a half decent laptop/desktop.

That said, keeping the interface clean and tackle things one at a time the Aspire One it holds up surprisingly well. It can even pull off a mean gaming machine for WoW or anything below it in terms of demand on the CPU (abit with some sliders turned down). I've just come off playing through Sam & Max - Abe Lincoln Must Die and the experience was identical to what I had on my Inspiron, both chugged at the car chase with giant Lincoln but otherwise had no problems. I wouldn't feel bad now picking up the ol' Fallout games just to see what all the fuss is about Bethesda pooing some guns over Oblivion and calling it Fallout 3.

One strange thing is bugging me about my new Aspire One though, there is no external volume control. No sliders on the side of the machine, just the volume control options from inside the lappy itself. This is making it a little more annoying to adjust the volume when someone is nagging me to turn the sound up/down, but like the disc drive before it I'm sure I wont miss it after a few months. For now I should get to work and finish my final essay for tafe (and maybe some game reviews)

Cheers

EDIT: Actually it looks like the proper writing will be temporarily postponned for now. It seems the 60 day trail for MS Office 2007 (why only a trial when Linux gets full Open Office I have no idea) doesn't want to cough up an activation key. So to you Microsoft I say NO. I will not jump through your loopholes just to temporarily use a program that should have been ready as soon as I open up this machine. You probably wont see revenue from me when I go obtain a full version in the next week just out of sheer annoyannce from tonight, thank the dark lords for the internetz insistance on piracy of software. Now where did I see that link to a cracked download of Office 2000...

Tis the season...to put up with xmas carols in the workplace!!!

2008-11-06T21:19:00.006+11:00

One good thing about having a real job while whoring yourself out as a writer is recieving a regular sampling of cash money for materialistic desires. With only a few months of holiday work to look forward to at the overly twaty David Jones I gots a lot of shit to stock up on. Of course this means dealing with Christmas carols being played in the food court while running around delivering foodstuffs to the stalls. After one day I'm about ready to stab someone in the eye, so hopefully I can drown this stuff out for the rest of the season.

While I was originally planning to wait until after I picked up a PS3 for this, I'm really considering jumping into the Rock Band wagon with a PS2 bundle. Sure the game itself is stripped down the hell and back again, but since the hardware is identical over the 2 systems I wouldn't feel so guilty warming up on the PS2 now for when I have a spare $700 to blow out my rear hole (damn these Aus prices!!!) Fingers crossed Big W/EB (if it comes down to price matching) don't disappoint next week in finding my $217 band bundle + game.

As for other newish releases it is bleak until previously said PS3 comes into my life, which wont be until after the holidays most likely. Guess this makes things easier though since after Disaster and Fire Emblem DS there are no must buys. Ideas are always welcome from the masses, especially since I need to get off my hiney and actually WRITE some new reviews. Now since I don't have anything useful to say tonight I shall take my leave.

Cheers

Did you hear the one about the guy with a blog that never updated it?

2008-10-30T21:21:00.005+11:00

Don't get your hopes up yet you three people who read my blog that don't like me, I'm not dead yet. And to the other 2 that are indifferent to me as a person sorry but since updating to Google Chrome (and abandoning this as my homepage) I tend to forget I even have this ~~ranting ground~~ fantastic blog. As it has been a month of not mentioning updates I guess I should get around to informing what is new in my small small world of games journalisms.

Eco Gamer - been a bit bad and ignoring the reviews as of late, but the '1 review a week' shedule keeps a nice regular backlog. Since Madden 09 All-Play went up though the well has dried up and I need to find some not too old stuff to write about. Now that I have an income from David Jones I can at least not fret about picking up new releases, although not having a PS3/360 really limits my choice of big software releases to choose from.

Also look forward to Eco Gamers buyers guide. While not a list of 2008 highest metacritic scores like every other gaming site/magazine out there, it is a list of useful tips for being great game gifter to others.

The Box - I know I know, I said screw them and the people who jumped at my idea for a games section. That changes when the editor emails you and asks if the only one who gives a damn wants to continue the section in 2009. While it doesn't mean free review games as of yet, it means another feature and possible the previously mentioned 'list of 2008 top metacritic games' for extra filler.

Maybe I'll get around to a proper post instead of these pointless updates sometime in the next week. And then maybe I'll actually start caring about this place more than I care about the production of a movie based of the life of Britney Spears.

Repent or thou shall be forsaken!

2008-09-25T21:23:00.005+10:00

Yes people, it has finally happened. Some flare has gone off inside the head of the mother creature and she took me out with her to purchase Wii Fit. Not just any Wii Fit, but a FULLY PRICED copy of Wii Fit! Sure the only catalogue that had it on sale was Myer (which doesnt stock games in our one) but she doesn't care since this looks to be a nice impluse buy.

I will admit however that once I got the balance board set up and registered both of our Miis through background shoutings of 'Hurry up, I want to play!' that we both had this strange feeling when we played. I think this emotion is called...fun? Well whatever it was, it made both of us put in a full 30 minute session each of yoga, muscle excersies and hula hooping. Now I give myself about a month before I banish Wii Fit back into its case and never speak of the balance board again (unless I pick up Skate It or some other equally gimmicky piece of software) and as for dearest mother, I give her a week at most. 2 if she finally learns how to turn on the Wii and start up the game herself.

On a more positive note I was able to pick up a little something for myself during the trip to JB Hifi as you can see in the picture below. Now that I'm wrecked for the night I guess I'll start playing this before bed and hopefully finish it in a day or two.

Developing the Game Down under follow up

2008-09-20T14:36:00.005+10:00

A couple days late, but better late then never to show off the rare occasions in which I nab software in its intial launch period. Review should be written up in a day or two after I spend some more time with the game, but since Eco Gamer reviews only go up at a rate of one per week it may be a while. Outside of the game itself I did have a couple of little annoyances that I just need to get out of me now instead of surpressing them like my inner carnal desires.

In a sort of followup to my 'Developing the game Down Under' piece published in The Box I feel the urge to talk more about the Australian made game. Back when folks from Krome were in Melbourne showing off Hellboy and Star Wars at the ACMI center I discussed with them if they felt their game was identifiable as Australian (or even just Krome itself) made. Sure enough they were confident with the hype they had been generating for the Wii game thanks to their exclusive content and multiplayer modes, even making it sound like the 360/PS3 devs were trying to play catchup. Now quality of the games aside, after nabbing my copy of TFU I couldn't help but notice how easy it was to miss the Krome logo on the back of the box while Lucasarts was plastered right on the front.

While the name Krome doesn't generate as much hype (or even casual acknowledgement) as something like Lucasarts, I can't shake the feeling that this is just a dick move in advertising the brand over the artists who put time and effort into this game. Sure in retrospect the Wii game was always going to be sitting in the shadows of its tech heavy bigger brothers, but the point is why do the developers get pushed to the back of the box while someone else takes their credit away. The people at Krome were doing more than porting a PS2 engine to the Wii, they were making an entirely new game seperate to the 360/PS3 showoffs with their own talents. Ranting here wont get Krome front page of Hyper magazine and an appology from Georgey boy himself; thats what hitmen and big bags of money are for. The point is unless you are 'in the know' about the scene, Australians will once again let another locally developed title slip away from their graps while the government continues to ignore the countries potential in the industry.

Me 0: big bad world 1

2008-09-13T13:19:00.004+10:00

Not in the mood for witty comments today, in the middle of one of those 'teen angtsy' moments the youth of today claim makes them extremely suidical and depressed. Frankly, all its done for me is keep my away from the junk food I normally eat when I'm sad so it seems to have bettered me.

Since its been a friggin long time since my last post I figured its best to let people know I'm not dead and give an update on stuffs, so here goes:

Economical Gamer - still plenty of reviews to come, and now that Anthony is doing a few it wont be the typical 99% my reviews list thats there. I'll still try to get through at least one a week for now and I'm just about done with Madden 09 All-Play + Sonic Rush Adventure reviews. In an attempt to better connect with the masses I've decided to take requests for reviews. Right now the list stands like this with my decisded reviews and requests

Wii

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed

Red Steel

De Blob

PS2

Yakuza 2

Devil May Cry collection (1-3 were released in a bundle in the US so I'll just pretend we also got that)

Sonic Chronicels The Dark Brotherhood

Always open to more requests since it saves me time + effort in trying to decide for myself during the slow periods, and with an extremely sad holiday line up for the PS2 and Wii its gonna get frusterating deciding what to review. Also before I forget there will be a holiday buyers guide written up in the next month or so for the site by yours truly covering what are expected to be the big sellers, and some friendly tips/recommendations for game buyers and givers. Look forward to it!

The Box - this is pretty much going to shits for lack of a better word. There will be no term 4 issue of the magazine and I havent really heard anything back from them in continuing the games stuff. With everyone else who originally jumped on the idea giving up/dropping out/being extremely unreliable its safe to say this was just a one off. Guess that means more time to Eco Gamer and other places.

And thats pretty much all to report on what is a surprisingly sunny day.

Cheers

What about me?

2008-08-26T14:25:00.008+10:00

Writers block is the enemy of every professional tosser with ink in their pen and a blank page on their desk. To update this and make it a 21st century comment perhaps it should be 'Writers block is the enemy of every professional crybaby with a livejournal and their fingers hovering over the keyboard'

Now if I was someone important, i.e. a professional analyst, or a renowned critic on a specific subject, then anything I say would be eaten up for breakfast by the reading public. Alas since I am a nobody writing mostly on what is still deemed a 'niche' subject by the televised media the amount of people who will take my words to heart is minimal at best, and non-existent in reality. I've been bugged by this for several months now, but after being knocked back by my own teacher about not following 'standards' in writing I feel the need to ~~bitch about it~~ discuss the matter.

When starting up with reviews for Economical Gamer, the final review scheme was still undecided and open for discussion. Now it doesn't take a famous analyst to figure out that opinions on the current standards of game reviews point towards the entire system needed an update past the number based metacritic scores. Since the site is based off getting your moneys worth with games it seemed like a great chance to create a unique review system (or completely ripoff Kotaku's new setup ,whichever one is easier). Obviously this didn't happen and the site went with a traditional number rating, but hey who am i to complain? I'm still writing reviews and such so it would seem unfair to say the reviews all suck.

Next complaint stems less from the interwebs and instead from my own classroom. Complaints about my writing course almost completely passing up the subject of online writing/publications now withstanding, after almost a year in the course it feels less like 'developing your own writing' and more like 'learn to please the teacher'. Despite been given the OK to take a fictitious satirical view on space travel for a crummy travel piece (which I have no real passion for trying to publish) I still receive a talk about having to not trying to do anything different when writing for an audience. At least thats what I think teacher was trying to say, all I heard was "crush any unique creativity in your writing and stick to the standards you pretentious douche".

So here I am stuck in mundane writing position with nothing to brag about. But what do I have to do in order to make it 'big'? Obviously its either conform to the point where standard writing is referred to as 'doing a Steven .J' or do something so incredibly original that its concept will be stolen and driven into the ground faster than you can say Bullet Time. As a starting point for the latter, feature writing seemed like an easy way to express some ideas that are not typically expressed in gaming journalism. One heavily required point for most of my features that are still in the 'early planning' phase are interviews and comments from various important peoples/peoplettes. Of course after a couple months trying to get in contact with said people I now know that these features are a lost cause, since none of them care to return emails or messages I'm gonna have to face dropping these features and look at different ideas.

Now there are still ways for me to move my writing forward. Obvious methods would be to move past this small blog and create a whole website dedicated to sticking it to conventions and 'the man'. But since Eegra does that with more proficiency then I could ever hope to display by myself I'll leave that to those magnificent bastards. Then theres a more unique conspiracy to write/design my own video game; guaranteed press from any site claiming to give a damn about the 'indi' crowd and a promotion into the somebody crowd. However then reality slaps me in the face and I realize that I know nothing about coding up my own game, and my ideas would be impossible with a budget of $23 sitting in my bank account.

Guess all I can do is conform to the masses for a while longer while crying over a livejournal, fingers floating just 3mm over the keyboard letters D U M B A S S (yes there are 2 fingers over the letter 'S')

School's in session, should've learned my lesson...

2008-08-18T02:48:00.006+10:00

Nothin' quite like a GTO marathon to stay awake instead of sleeping. Maybe its because I'm sick of constantly sleeping in and running late for morning classes, or that I'm just trying to become an insomniac for attention but I'm finding it pretty easy to stay awake instead of crawling into bed at 1-2am and trying to wake up in 6 hours. Of course by the time the sun starts setting I'm just about beat and ready to crash, but since I don't have morning classes on Tuesday IT'S ALL GOOD!

Anyways, its not like I'm doing anything important on Mondays. Oh sure I go to class and pretend to give a damn about whatever books we are looking at (this week its On The Road) but its just sitting in a chair for 3-4 hours. Not very fun, yet I still show up for every class. Sometimes it would be fun to have a teacher like GTO, but at the same time political correctness would keep this guy locked up forever. Note to self: If I ever become a teacher, make sure to be at least half as awesome as Onizuka!

Anyways, new stuff new stuff....well, I'm buggered! Oh yea, IGN got my hopes up for Madden 09 All-Play being available last week only for EB and GameFAQS to strike me down and tell me to wait a whole extra week. Since I'm not planning to pick up any new games until Force Unleashed, this was supposed to pass the time (and give me something new to review) for the week, but now I'll have to fall back on unpublished reviews. And if that fails, just download a couple small WiiWare games to bitch about. Sometimes it would be nice to have a 360/PS3 just to have some variety since WiiWare hasn't really won me over yet with the exception of Strongbad's Cool Game For Attractive People.

All hope is not lost though peoples! If lady luck is on my side I may be seeing paying holiday work within the next month or two. This of course means $$$ for my own PSP (finally stop borrowing other peoples) and maybe a PS3 if the price is right. Following some new toys, new games to expand my reviewing prowess and make me look more professional and less like a Nintendrone. Gotta look the part this week for the interview so its time for a haircut and to pull out the fancy suit.

Well thats it I guess for this little while. Its just after 3am and Nao is just entering the GTO anime! Why couldn't real life have super hot school nurses like in anime...

Where the hell did this shadow come from!?!?

2008-08-09T14:45:00.007+10:00

Google's new street view is pretty awesome, but the fact that they are trying to hide the googlecar is pretty funny. At other places they just smeared black over the car image, but they were dedicated about covering up their tracks at my place. Next time they should be sure to either do their stalking at night or blotch out the shadows to.

Anyways today I feel generous enough (as in I already did it and I'm looking for something to put on this blog) to share my gaming setup with the world. Its nothing to jaw drop over in this modern day of HD sets with Surround sound, but for something in my own bedroom I can't really complain. Enough talk, NOW TIME FOR PICTURES!

If anyone is interested I'll break down the feature list of the whole thing.

- 51cm Sanyo flatscreen television. Settled on a non-HD set for the sake of my Guitar Hero games on PS2 which lack decent HD calibration. Couldn't really go much bigger than this because of the wooden cabinet being pretty small but it gets the job done nicely.

- Slim Playstation 2. Not much to really say here so I'll just run off the list of stuff related to the PS2. Two Dualshock2 controllers, two controller extension cables, two 8MB memory cards (one Sony, one Devil May Cry 3 edition from Hori) and a 1MB memory card (from Futuretronics) for PS1 games and a noname brand DVD remote+reciever currently without batteries.

- Nintendo Wii. Thanks to this little contraption my Gamecube is now boxed up under my bed. Along with a second Wiimote and official component cables there are two Gamecube controllers (including a Wavebird) and a set of Bongo controllers. Also two memory cards (59 block and 251 block) for my GC saving needs.

- Otaku crap! The Japanophile in me is always kept at ease with a complete set of Great Teacher Onizuka books along with beginnings of other series such as Evangelion, One Piece and Yakitate!! Japan. Also you can see the MANY plushies/figurines from both Japanese and Western cartoons. I <3 my moogle plushie!!!

- Games!!! Obviously this is my collection. Not too shabby when you consider my budget (or lack thereof) but its still got a loooong way to go before I'm satisfied. If only I started reviewing every single game I purchased since day 1, but I'm pretty sure that would give me a portfolio to rival real writers. And we all know I'm not a real writer!

So in short, this is my 'work' over the many years. Opinions or comparisons from anyone are always welcome!

Paper or plastic? "This blog is kindda sad"

2008-07-31T00:34:00.003+10:00

Never nice to hear bag things about your own creation, but I can see my reader(s) complaints about this place being worthless. Doesn't help that I don't have much to report in trying to avoid this being a current news blog, but since I must conform to please the crazy masses here I go:

The Box - got a bunch of music cd reviews to finish over the next week and a bit. Now without a pair of working headphones I'm denied the possibility to listen to these tunes on the go so now I must sit my ass in front of my computer and listen through the crummy speakers. No idea when (or if) they will be in print form, most likely they will be up on the online version of The Box magazine, which I never pay attention to, sorry Jade. Also going to see advance screening of Pineapple Express this Monday, and luckily I don't have to waste time reviewing it.

Eco Gamer - Yet another review game straight from 2K in the form of Go! Deigo! Go! Safari Adventure has arrived at the door of gaming cheapasses. Wont get a chance to play through this until this weekend, but expect the review to go up sometime in August. In other review news, reviews of My Pokemon Ranch (WiiWare) and Guitar Hero: On Tour (DS) should be next on the list of reviews going up. Seem to be getting positive feedback on last couple of reviews so I must be doing something right, when I figure out what exactly it is then I'll be sure to put it into all my writing.

R18+ Rating Debate - Sadly I got out of bed to watch that ~~Insult to gamers~~ discussion on Australia's lack of an R18+ rating. Unbeknown to me, the poor sucker who was dragged in to ask the question was Joab from Bigpond GameArena whom I have ~~become friends with~~ annoyed and added on Facebook in a bleak attempt to network with these gaming journalist masses. If anyone cares about MY opinion on this issue, I say we wait it out until our generation grows up and become the suited twats of government and we have a new whipping child to cover the asses of neglectful parents everywhere. I personally nominate a revival of the tabletop gaming scene to be blamed for the next decades worth of school shootings, drug overdoses and random suicides.

Guess thats all for now, I'm outta here to go cry in a corner about a single person saying this place is shite!

Cheers

The Price Is WRONG!

2008-07-22T22:21:00.004+10:00

While I can brag about being super lucky with contests and charitable donations, when it comes to actual bargain bin/sale hunting I am one unlucky son of a bitch!

Going back last year to the one day Big W sale just following the release of Guitar Hero 3 on Wii (game+guitar for $98), arrived 20 minutes after store opened because I waited for mates before heading to the store. According to the store clerk, they had lines of people buying up the bundles as soon as the store opened. The end result was me running through 4 EB Games, 4 JB Hifis, 2 Dick Smiths, 1 Target, 1 K Mart and a Myer. Since then Guitar Hero has been dead to me and I haven't looked back!

This year hasn't been any better. Going through 3 K Mart stores trying to find Scarface: The World Is Yours on Wii (marked down to $2o) only to find every store was sold out within a day of the sale being on. In the end I gave in and paid an extra few bucks to get it from JB for a passable $30. It was during this time that Dick Smith decided to throw a little clearance sale on, with games on all platforms down to crazy prices! All I wanted was a copy of Phoenix Wright Justice For All ($5) and every Dick Smith I went to didn't have any copies left, even the stores that claimed to have stock according to the store website (went to the Preston store 3 different days and never found a copy there!)

This week I'm hoping to have some slack cut for me. While I don't expect to find a copy of The Dog Island at Target ($15 starting Thursday) going by stock I saw today, I'm hoping I can find one of these rumored $24 Nintendo games at K Mart tomorrow. Mario Strikers Charged, Endless Ocean, Advance Wars Days of Ruin or Batallion Wars 2 would all be fantastic for me. While it is likely I will find no stock once again I have to have some hope, after all this is the same K Mart that sold me DK Jungle Beat w/Bongo controllers for $29 a couple years ago. Wish me luck you ignorant masses!

UPDATE: Looks like I got lucky with this K Mart once again. Found 2 copies of Battalion Wars 2 in stock (of course I only grabbed one for myself) so I got something for my efforts!

Moogle at work Down Under

2008-07-20T18:09:00.004+10:00

Been a few days since the last post, kinda makes me feel like I've started neglecting my own child when I realize how little attention I show this blog. Probably a good thing that I changed my mind about getting a dog last year, lord knows what would happen to it now under my care. Anyways, onto the bragging part of this post. New issue of The Box is now available at Box Hill TAFE campuses, complete with my own contribution. A tad disappointed that two of the four original people who jumped on this idea have disappeared, with the other guy potentially not caring about this anymore. But then I remember that people are vile creatures never to be trusted. For anyone who stumbles across this post and has no access to The Box magazine, here is the article in raw text form.

Developing the game Down Under

It’s easy to ignore that little land mass down under if you are a gamer. After all, it’s not exactly clear what Australia has contributed to the gaming community. Even today, the market in Australia for publishers is still undersized compared to other regions. However, the truth is Australia has grown from small groups porting software into a considerable region for developer talent.

Going back to the early 80s with games such as The Hobbit developed by Melbourne House up to the recent award winning Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords by Interactive Studios, people would not realize many of their favourite games come from Australian developer studios. Many of our industry greats can go unnoticed even in their own homeland, with the exception of a few games.

Titles such as Ty the Tasmanian Tiger take a somewhat satirical view of Australian culture, featuring an Australian figure as the protagonist with almost insulting Aussie accents. With the addition of our Australian Rules football games (which do not see international releases) these are the most identifiable Australian games. While we can take obvious credit for these accomplishments, many would be shocked to learn that 1985 fighting game Way of the Exploding Fist was Australian made.

What would it take to make games truly identifiable as Australian? An Underbelly themed sandbox game? Okami redone with Aboriginal styled art? Or maybe an Australian themed Mario game with mushrooms replaced by meat pies, bloopers replaced by sharks and princess peach replaced with a true Aussie Sheila living off her 3 baby bonus payments?

Maybe if developers find a way to represent the Australian lifestyle in video games, we won't have to point to a talking extinct animal as our representative. We may not be ready for Fat Pizza: The Game but it would be a step in the right direction in identifying Australian games.

If I'm so lucky, why can't I find a Brawl matchup online!?!?

2008-07-14T21:35:00.004+10:00

I must have had a lot of good karma coming my way this year, since despite being an unemployed student with no income, I still find a way to come into new video games at a regular basis. Once again, thanks to the charity of the folks over at Aussie-Nintendo have picked me as one of the three contest winners, this time for Guitar Hero: On Tour on DS.

Couple that with Disgaea: Afternoon of Darkness from Kotaku Aus and Assassins Creed DS from A-N this has been one of my luckiest years when it comes to contests. Also my charitable donations of Ty 2 and my old phat PS2 seem to have granted me even MORE good karma with donations of Disgaea 2: Cursed Memories and Super Smash Bros. Brawl from some generous gamers. When my takeover of the world is complete, these people shall enjoy quick and painless deaths!

Now that I'm just about done with the single player portion of Brawl (9 hours is too bloody long for something this repetitive!) I should look to the online options to keep me entertained this week. However, I grow bored of beating up that punching bag for 10 minutes while no one joins my online match. I thought this was supposed to be the BIGGEST online game for the Wii, yet I have had no luck finding an online match. Maybe I'll have better luck tomorrow...

The Times They Are A-Changin'

2008-07-12T22:08:00.013+10:00

Memories of the previous Connection Tours fill my mind with casual groups picking up a Wiimote for the first time with Wii Sports and other simplistic fun games. With the release of Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Nintendo have set up yet another Connection Tour in Australia. In place of the go-active Wii Sports audience, this tour is more catered towards the self-titled ‘hardcore’ gamers.

At opening time, the line of gamers was set with one goal; kick some ass in Super Smash Bros. Brawl! With over 100 entries the Brawl tournament was the main attraction of the day, drawing people to their controller of choice. With four individual Wii systems running copies of Brawl, it was the popular choice for all age groups.

Along with Brawl, the list of games was quite a step up compared to previous tours. With the notable disappearance of Wii Fit and Wii Sports, the floor was cleared for new highlights including Guitar Hero: Aerosmith, Samba De Amigo and Emergency Mayhem. The DS also saw a software roster update, adding to the growing list of Touch Generation games along with Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood and Guitar Hero: On Tour. Here’s a breakdown on my impressions of each new game:

Guitar Hero: Aerosmith – This is my first time using the Wii’s Les Paul controller and I gotta say that I am not a fan of it. Maybe it was these guitars themselves, but the strum bar was flimsy and whammy bar was loose. Outside of controller complaints, this is the same ugly dummed down Guitar Hero 3 people got last year redone with Aerosmith tunes. It won’t win over any new fans, but if you didn’t like the difficulty curve of GH3, Aerosmith may be just right for you

Samba De Amigo – Never played the original game so I have no idea how this compares, but it was a fun game that seems to fit the Wii (or a pair of maracas) perfectly. Only tried a couple songs, but the controls seem to work perfectly so no complaints to be had from me.

Guitar Hero: On Tour – 26 songs isn’t really worth the high price point for Australians, but price aside this is a really well done game. The peripheral is made with small hands in mind, so people with hands bigger than 8 year olds may not want to strap themselves into the device. I don’t know if it’s a good thing that this impressed me more than the Aerosmith game, but it’s a great attempt at bringing the Guitar Hero series to new platforms.

Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood – I wasn’t paying much attention to this game before, but after sampling a bit of the gameplay myself I’m ready to give this game a solid chance upon release. Functional combat mechanics, clean presentation and branching storylines all help to show off that Bioware can make a great game regardless of platform. Still skeptical about the Sonic universe being suitable for a decent story however, and that will probably never change.

Swag was on the light side this year with most quiz prizes consisting of Guitar Hero caps and Pokemon figurines. The top 4 finalists of the Brawl tournament all scored a free copy of the game for their skills, although I question why THEY would need a second copy since they were all of high caliber. All contestants in the tournament also had their photo taken and kept in nametags (although that barely qualifies as swag to most people)

In short, if you were thought this tour would be more of the same as last year then you were wrong. If at any point you try to question this, I would point you to the sea of ~~nerds and otakus~~ hardcore gamers viewing every round of the Super Smash Bros. tournament. The last fight came down to two brothers with a single stock life each, with the younger brother coming out on top thanks to a deadly smash ball and hammer combination.

And what did he get to show off his accomplishments? Along with Mario figurines and a copy of Brawl he received a friggin sweet trophy!

P.S - As much as I loathe Naruto, I still gotta give credit where its due. Props to this brawler for a decent attempt at the world's most annoying ninja.

Like an EA produced game, I'm back for more!

2008-07-08T23:26:00.007+10:00

Thanks for the encouragement from the four people who have actually seen this page so far! Lets imagine a couple hundred zero's behind the four and move on.

So yea, having a hard time deciding what exactly goes in this place. It'd be pointless for this to turn into a news blog since there is more news out there than one man can process in time to re post before it is classified as 'gold' by the masses in their Internet forums. Will probably become my own breeding ground for insane ideas, sit-com worthy get rich quick schemes, and maybe (JUST MAYBE) original writing on games, industry overviews and chats with important gaming people.

Can't really complain with the list of options available to me at this point, and who knows. With my own page now I can pretend- sorry, ACT more professional when I'm out and about at various gaming events. Speaking of which, plan to check out the Nintendo Connection Tour at Southland this weekend to try out some new games, chat with some people and take PICTURES! While other better sites may have already gone through this at the other tour locations, this one is special because I say it is. So keep a look out for my posts on the weekend dammit!

P.S. Yes I know my post has nothing to do with Rock Band 2, and I don't plan to keep a sync between blog topic/pics in the future. Like the front page of the Mx I want to mess with peoples heads by providing a completely irrelevant subject matter to go along with my imagery. Get used to it ;)

New Kid on the Block

2008-07-08T00:45:00.006+10:00

Woah, turns out it wasn't as scary as I thought to set up one of these things. I guess anything David Jaffe can do, I can do to! *runs of to make crazy game about cars and guns then remembers knows nothing about game programming*

Anyways, lets get to the good stuff! Right now, I'm nothing special. As much a narcissistic prick as I try to be, I'm inherently a good guy so it takes a bit more effort to stand out from the crowd. If you haven't read any of my earlier works from Economical Gamer I'll lay the ground work down for you. The goal in my reviews is not to say 'x game is shite!' or 'game y is teh ballz' but instead to inform readers about the games. What the consumer is getting, how does it work and most importantly, is it fun? I'm the first to admit these early reviews sound like ass kissing material, but I believe the gaming journalism world doesn't need another Ben 'Yahtzee' clone. Maybe one day I can ride aboard the S.S.Sellout and hang crap over 90% of the games I play, but until then I'll continue to pout my lips for the likes of the suits!

Since no one other than close friends and forum members are likely to find their way to this post I'll just end it here and say I hope to get the most out of this bloody thing. Welcomes all round! Now where's my fruit basket?